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OH MY GOSH I AM SHOCKED BY THE MANY HORRIBLE PICTURES OF ME THAT ARE POSTED ON THE WEB, OTHER'S BLOGS AND CLASS VIDEO.

i better start being careful with my photos.

on a random note, i feel like changing to wordpress.

am considering... seems more suitable for a severely wordy person like me :D
but sadly, the html cannot be changed after setting e 1st time. i'm just too fickle minded :(

and i seriously need to update my links

i think that this year, instead of enhancing my knowledge and improving me, has did more harm than good.
i feel my communicating skills break down, i've lost all forms of writing senses, the passion to read is gone.
i've lost the yearn for knowledge, the inquisitive, curiosity. the sense of righteousness and standing up for what i think is right. the argumentative side of myself.
my memory is steadily deteriorating. i've lost my thinking and inference skills. i'm much less observant than i used to be.

i haven't learn't anything this year. to add on to the misery, nt only did i not gain anything, i lost those that i already had before.

i've been too holed up in my own stupid life which revolves around studies studies and more studies and making use of all free time to sleep that i haven't noticed until now how much i've lost just by coming to sngs.

my life is just a pile of dung.

i can't even be bothered to post on cos i can't find the words to express myself.

i have gotten so bored to the stage that i am hooked onto this game on miniclip called 'off the rails', cos its prob e most interesting thing i find doing now. it involves 2 jellybean men peddling this seesaw like handcart on rails, jumping over bouncing pufferfishes and blue porpucines. i am bent on passing lvl 12, which sadly, i still fail too. either i end up flying off the broken rails, losing my balance when i jump and explode, or rush on too eagerly that i fly into the unsuspected red eye insects. my state of boredness is so serious that i even ogle at the cuteness of the jellybean men in straw hats with their cute minute hands and legs, marvel at their perfect colour and tone and their absolute adorableness when they cling on to their handcart and 'fly', and pity them with utmost sadness when they explode.

to operate e handcart, you have to press the left and right arrow repeatedly to show the peddling of the cart. thus, we can all safely conclude that my second and forth finger are both exceptionally sore now.

i need some decent sleep to wake up tomorrow for church. but sadly i just can't seem to

talking to kmy makes me feel terribly unaccomplished.
i am getting so lazy that i can never managed the 30 situps i resolved to do every night. sigh

someone, slap me.

i must be the laziest shit existing in the world right now

still slacking. slacking...

to make myself feel better, i try convincing myself that the term 'slack' should nt appear in my brain since its the holidays, and holidays are meant for slacking rest, relaxation and enjoyment. but knowing freakingly well that right now many of the 1justicians, whether it be chionging or taking their own sweet time, doing some homework. i, on the other hand, haven't even started downloading any work, started studying some shit or even start packing my junkyard.

ps: i am so lazy to the extend that right now i can't even be bothered to unglue my eyes frm e laptop, leave the bed and walk 5metres to the living rm to talk to my sister. i can't even be bothered to shout, which is easy-peasy considering my huge vocals. instead, i use the msn to convey a few simple msgs. how pathetic is that?

i can't even be bothered to walk perhaps 3metres to the kitchen to spit out the gum in my mouth that i have been chewing for almost an hour.

don't talk about e hard stuff like homework and studying. i dun even have the motivation to update my friendster, upload my pictures and clear my laptop and hp memory card. or even cook my own decent meals or empty a sachet of coffee powder into a mug, having to resort to cornflakes and milk.

whats becoming of me? oh dear.

i need to find the determination to start working. fast.

BEEP.

i have been putting off blogging abt my ppr and sat's teens for so long.
bleughhhhh

why?

both are so horrible that i don't really want to think about it

nt so great but long day today. had lunch with some band ppl. then rushed off for band at 1.30 and blah blah blah. got taken my mr ong at e music rm cos some stupid stole away the dance studio which according to some person that we booked 1st. hurmph. blew a couple of funny things. was pretty squashed up trying to share scores. some things happened then which made me feel confused and pissed. and shiying was looking frigging emo. haha. then we had to scram at 3.30 cos co was coming in... bleughh.

"you all can go home now"

"HOORAY"

happily trots back to the band rm to find that we were having combine with HER and the woodwinds.

"BLEUGH"

was a stupid thing trying to have combined in e band rm. we poor trombones and trumpets were tottering at the back on the steps and trying to find places for our stands and horribly long slide. was better for e trumpets, at least their instrus wern't as huge. the other sects were just squashed along e benches. but i totally sympathize with the percs. they were like along the stairs, facing the danger of falling down. with drums somemore. *clap clap* don't know how they managed it.

played i saw mummy kissing santa claus. hated it. i kinda cheated a little. i was hiding behind this pillar at e back. haha. then i got kinda scared and guilty for cheating my way out and tried to blow a little. but that was worse. i was just like spoiling the whole thing. and i was sandwiched between 1st and 2nd. and i would blow 1st at the parts i could and when they were too high, i wuld switch to 2nd. horrible me. and i'm terrible at feigning blowing. the look on my face just gives me away.

got kinda pissed...

then joannah gave us all a treat at pasta mania. ohmygosh. freaking exp. joannah must be like chao rich. we cabbed there cos there was supposed to be a 30% discount frm 2.30-5.30 and it was already 5 budden i duno why dey didn't give it to us ): and no one seemed to be bothered anyway so haha nevermind. ate my fave baked rice ((: then qixuan left and we sat in macs to be bored... just didn't want to go home. left at arnd 7.15 (:

went home on 156 with joannah.

"i swear i know the right way home this time (:"

i'm really confused and tired of what they call, ______ politics
is the world that complex?
there are just too many fakers and hyprocrites around that i really duno who to trust anymore.

should i go for band camp?
well its a stupid question.
but i'm still hesitating.... i really want my 6A gathering ):

okok... i promised to upload those pics for e sect today

is life always that complicated?

oh nono... i'm feeling tired, confused and fustrated. and perhaps a little pissed.

why?

woke up early in e morn to finish off her present. rush to amk hub. arrived 15mins early and i got a shock when shiying arrived nt long later. and diana did too, with jolene. it made me kinda pissed e way some others have no sense of punctuality. its freaking irritating. and suddenly we received a sms that we were having her birthday celeb at e canteen at 12.15 and it was already 11.25 -.- we ate in a rush and qixuan just arrived after we ate finish. we rushed off to sch in a cab, reached there arnd 12.20 to find that no one had arrived. hurmph.

what a complete waste of $5

and by the time she came band started already.
and then immediately after band she rushed off. which made me waste time rushing her present in e morn since i didn't even get to give it to her. sigh.

i'm pissed.

fustrated over another matter.

and confused over the complexity of life and the human mind.

i love my sect greens. they do help me out and give me alot of fun. shiying cheers me up when i'm unhappy, diana encourages me to pray and read e bible, qixuan listens to my woes and reminds me to save money and olivia acts as the mother hen and takes care of us. yet i do sometimes hate certain things that they do. how can people hate, yet love someone at e same time? well i can. its a weird feeling that prob no one else wuld understand. i'm confused by myself. i don't really like band now cos mostly i'm unhappy during it. i really miss the times where the 5 of us wuld just blow a note and burst out laughing, when we were super zihigh during friday sectionals, jumping singing laughing bouncing and everything. now that we've known each other better over the times that we spent together during band and thru the difficult or happy times we had, we've come to love each other more. yet during this times we've came to look at each other's faults and tend to pinpoint, thus disliking them. i feel really weird that sometimes i love them, yet sometimes i feel the dislike towards them. sigh.

confusion.

no wonder they said children are always the happiest.

i'm just wasting my hols away...

freaking. i am already irritated my my irritable-ness enough and there's now a new thing for me to be irritated about. property agents.
although we've declined them pointedly i think more than a dozen times, they seem to can't resist calling. i feel like screaming into their empty head, "BUG OFF. ALL MY HOUSE HAS TO OFFER IS A COUPLE OF SNAILS, WORMS, RATS, COCKROACHES, LIZARDS AND MORE MORE MORE. PRONE TO BUGLARS, RAPIST, FLASHERS, MURDERERS, LOONIES AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE. UNLESS YOU ARE SICK OF YOUR LIFE AND WOULD LIKE TO END IT IN AN EXCITING WAY, LOVE HAVING THE COMPANY OF INTERESTING HOUSEHOLD PESTS OR LOVE EATING ESCARGOTS, GET LOST.

*pissed*

and i suddenly got reminded of joannah's birthday. thus now i am having to rush out her present.

i'm saddened by the fact that i like to handmake prezzies for ppl cos i think its more meaningful and sincere but some people treats it as junk and just toss them aside, thinking that i am just being cheakskate and stingy. sigh ):

on a brighter note, i love mum! she bought me this really really nice jacket which costs $40. it orginally costs $50 but there was a 20% discount. i am so so so happy! (: actually she didn't really buy it. cos she bought this $110 gown and didn't like it, ended up changing it for a $80 gown. so she had to top up and agreed to getting me e jacket! so happy! only worry is that U2 will go on half price sale like they usually do during year end and then i see a nicer jacket there... ): i just love those U2 jackets. but they are freaking exp.. ): and oh i also fell in love with a pair of jeans that i plan to buy after i've saved enough... (:

chatted a little just now with diana on msn abt christianity. that made me doubt my own salvation. sigh. many times i've been provoked into thinking too deep into things, which just causes more confusion. such as the previous teen's. ):

was nice of her to help me out with reading e bible and praying (:
she encouraged me to pray for tongues too... hmm. nt too sure about that one.

got msn-ed by a couple of old pri sch friends lately. made me realised how much things have changed after we all left for our own seperate ways. while people like me and clau wuld use the terms, 'mug. slack. unglam. enthu. zihigh. emo', people who have gone different ways would be saying, 'sia. noob. nia. duh. lame.' and who knows what else... i feel so out of touch with what i would call the neighbourhood-mixed-sch society. and i realised how hard i find to communicate with guys nowadays... perhaps apart from elton. sigh. things abt going to a sap, top and girls sch.

ok crapped enough. on to making presents.

i'm sick of the way i lead my life

i am very irritable. what is e prob with me. i am nt happy during sch days, neither am i happy during hols. i am bored like shit and practically dying.
there are many things to do, but all of them nt to my liking. homework, for example. and packing up my messes and getting things organized.

sigh. irritating

i am actually looking forward to band. though if she comes i will just die. well, at least its a form of excitement *raises eyebrowns*

and things made me more irritated. i don't know why people say we are bonded when we are just so not. well maybe i just have higher expectations.

i am freaing irritable. so i shall nt blog anymore. although i feel like finishing up that unfinished few posts. but i am just feeling too irritable.

i hope people such as e sect greens or 1justicians or my pri sch mates will just start ringing and msg-ing me to go out. i am already sick of e house though its ony e 1st day of hols.

JOAN IS FEELING IRRITABLE

ok i promised to blog but apparently i'm too lazy.

will do so after piano tmr. if i ever survive it. I HAVEN'T PRACTICED. SHIT. stephanie is bombarding me with so many above my standard things i don't know where to start practicing. melodic minors, broken chords arpeggios and chromatics both hands, chord progression. and so many others. sigh.

today was confusing

ok, 2 things to blog about yest.

things before lunch. things after lunch. and then what happened at orchard on thurs.
i shall blog about things after lunch 1st as they're shorter. nt much time left to teen's.

and then i shall leave a post on 1j's blog *sniffs*

played table tennis with kmy after sch... up till arnd 2pm. then we ate lunch and i left for band at arnd 2.45pm. decided to visit e dnt rm to find that mr tay finally fixed my table lamp liao!!! so happy. :) but 1 of the panels dropped out so i gotta go there nxt yr to fix it again ):

then i saw qixuan and shiying and decided to play badminton with them. hot like shit. then we went in for abit of table tennis until all e pros started streaming in and we decided to siam. back to badminton. then we went into e band rm for aircon cos it was too too hot. haha this is bad for the health :S

sectionals wasn't very productive. 1st-ly, e sec3s wern't there. thus, we had totally no self dicipline. sigh :( sec2s went for drills while we did warm ups. then something made me boil and i kinda yelled abit. well perhaps alot. i just really couldn't stand her and her freaking attitude anymore. so what if she's older, who does she think she is? making people follow her orders and do everything for her. i'm nt her personal maid or anything okay. i was just being nice to do her and everyone else a favour to photocopy their scores for them and she gives me this kind of attitude. was it my prob if she lost her scores? still dare to show me attitude. nt as if i lost her scores for her or smth. and when i told her i photocopied extra and put it in the box, she still dared to order me to get them for her. *pissed*

i'm sick of being peace loving all the time. yes, you can snigger. i don't give it a damm. just cos i don't want to spoil our relationship, i just go on pretending all the time that i'm happy and everything is fine. when you really piss me to the limit i raise my voice and then you yell at me for being disrespectful to you. hello, you've gotta start earning your respect. respect others 1st if you want them to respect you. i'm tired of you saying f*** all the time around me and when i tell you nt to say it time and time again, you tell me its perfectly normal and continue saying it. hello, respect other's even if you don't respect yourself can? its time someone knocked some sense into you.

and then diana decided to distract us with her card tricks >:( sec2s came back and started packing the sect. its really clean now :) i love chengmei and joannah ((:

prac a teeny bit more. then the snrs taught us grease where i felt super out. thanks to the stupid fact i was playing 1st. weiping wasn't there, she wasn't there too, she left halfway thru band. so i was left there trying to blow whatever was on that stupid 4 pgs while joannah taught qixuan and chengmei taught diana and shiying cos 2nd and 3rd scores are e same. sigh. i blew till my lips were purple >:(

and i realised how much i hated cut time cos i wuld get chao confused. I HATE CUT TIME >:( why can't they just make it normal, and then put a note that says, 'play twice as fast'. that wuld be so much eaiser to comprehend. this is dumb.

went home with joannah. going home with her was a confusing task. 1st, we decided to take 163. then cos she wanted to go drinks store, we went by st 13 way instead. stuck at ave 4, and we were with qixuan and christine too. then after christine left, we visited macs for fries and sprite. then we decided to be nice and go with qixuan by yio chu kang way. ran after e 1st bus we saw, which turned out to be 268. BAH. i forgot only 76 went to the 86 busstop. then we missed the stop to e mrt, and ended up walking back, to find that we were at e wrong bus stop. blah blah blah blah. ended up walking almost 1km back to the 86 busstop. i felt mean to joannah :( and a realised how safe she was when it comes to crossing e road :D when we were finally there, joannah suddenly wanted to take bus 70 frm e interchange to her grandfather's hse :S so we crossed an overhead just when 86 came. BAH. then we took bus 70, a alighted 1st at yio chu kang road to take 163. sigh. everything wuld be much simpler if we just went to ave 2 to take 163. and what's e worst thing? i was carrying my trombone. yes, cos i realised how much i slacked that day and decided to prac over e weekends till tues. and what's even worse? i brought home my trombone but didn't bring home my scores. BAH.

i thought joannah wuld be angry that i led her the wrong way but she said it was fun getting lost :S
reached home at 8.45pm >:|

my arms were aching by e time i reached home. and my palms are red, sore and blistered, and i bruised my hips by bumping my trombie darling into it continuously. sigh.

so that concludes what happened after lunch yest.
did many things i never dared to do before... hmm... scolding her, for example
haha, i shall post more later :D

and its hard to believe the hols are finally here.
*mixed emotions*

Joan Chan
thirteen'
110594
sngs
1 Justice
snsb trombone

nike sling bag
myuk sling bag
new wallet
bigger pencil case

God
family
friends
sngs
1 Justice 07
1 Justice 07 counsellors
snsb, trombones

Min Yu
Wen Xin
Claudia
6A (rvps) 06'
Jessica
Karen
Jolene

high school musical - breaking free
high school musical - start of something new


high school musical - we're all in this together


michael learns to rock - you took my heart away


death cab for cutie - i will follow you into the dark


the fray - how to save a life


nick cave - where the wild roses grow


barry manilow - can't smile without you