more rants since i am very bored, waiting for the relatives to come.

drama enrichment ytd. whew. it was like, super fun okay. at 1st i tot it wuld be damm teh but it turned out to be fun and ncie =]
and i found out dat i can do short distance sprinting quite well =] but long distance is a definate nono.
we split into 2 grps, so register 1-18 went to the dance studio. and they told us to take off our shoes and socks cos we wuld be moving around alot and we might slip and fall.
it was frigging cold and we all felt very bare without our socks =[
so we played this fun catching game, and we were so frozen dat the moment e instructor, which had a complicated name that i forgot, gave the signal that we could start, we started running and jumping and screaming like idiots. hoho. after all dat excitment and movement, i think we felt less cold after dat =]
then e nxt game, we split into grps of 6. then e instructor wuld give instructions like, '6 feet 8 elbows, 1 finger, 10 shoulders' and blah. then in our grps we mus try to get all those body parts, no more no less, in contact wif e floor.
was pretty fun and hillarous. especially seeing ppl trying to propel themselves up with their feet and shoulders.
and e nxt activity we had to find a partner, and draw e person. and e drawing must like, reflect e person's personality and likings and stuff. and kmy drew a stick figure of me cos i wanted to be thin x)
and this time it was ABSOLUTELY HILLAROUS. especially when we describe and presented our drawings. hoho. euu ppl out dere shld see the artistic nature and the creativity of 1 justicians =]

ok and drills on thurs, we pumped 10. which was bad enuf okay. i duno how e guides do 50 and the st. johns do 100+++. 10 was already killing me.
and e reason we pumped 10 was becos e SCs were trying to teach us how to pump -.-
but i think my stomach ached more becos dey kept us in push up position for so long.
and friday's drills were worse
kmy was looking at us frm e forum and making me laugh.
the SCs kept shouting "LOUDER! LOUDER! WHERE'S YOUR TIMING? WHERE'S YOUR 90 DEGREES?"
but i can't blame dem.
some sec 1 idiots just can't open their mouths to say timing
i still dun understand what's so bad about saying timings if everyone's saying it together.
we were pretty loud at e end, but it was more like e ppl who normally say their timings loudly were yelling it, the ppl whu normally say their timings softly saying it loudly, and the ppl whu normally dun say timings were whispering it.
i was standing beside grace ho, and we were both yelling like mad.
and woah, we could hear sandy, whu was all e way at the other end, hollering like crazy.

and ho, depite my feet aching like what after drills, me, sarah and olivia went to j8 to shop =]
i saw this nice pullover that i like =]
i shal try save up for it.

and i think i do haf serious mood swings.
and am consistantly snapping at ppl
-sighs-

i am getting more and more pissed everytime i practice my piano.
puh lease.
i dun think i can take this anymore.
does he seriously think i'm an idiot?

i am very, very bored.

only hibernated 12hrs... woken up rudely by the sound of jets of water baming at my window. well, i never know why mum must always close my windows and wash the yard when i'm asleap. i might just suffocate.

so well, the pics are nt up yet cos i've been too lazy to upload them... =[ and now i suddenly don't feel like going into details about stuff so this post shall be shorter den expected.

ok, so pulau ubin was fun. we went to changi village to eat 1st but i didn't wan eat cos i wasn't hungry. so i drank chin chow =] then we walked to changi jetty and took bumboats to PULAU UBIN !!!!
picked our bikes when we arrived. then we had a briefing, took maps and started on the short route.

and very unfortunately, i had an accident.

ok, so i wasn't a very good cyclist. becos in my whole life, i've ony been cycling even, smooth, flat roads. and pulau ubin was excatly e opposite. so when we were cycling e short route, we took this dirt/sand/gravel/roots road which was kinda narrow. and the sides are like, er forests? i mean, the sides of the road steeps down so if euu fall euu'll be like, rolling down a slope filled with trees and worms and whatever. so i was damm scared. then there came the super roots-covered part and i started wobbling like crazy and i was like, going to fall down the side into e 'forest' liao so i swerved and BAM WHAM. i ended up on the ground, with the bike on top of me.
but thankfully, both me and the bike was still in contact with the dirt/sand/gravel/roots road.

ok, so then i continued cycling... cos i checked the cut and there was like, only 1 scratch.

so later we took e long route... which was thankfully nt so dirt/sand/gravel/root covered, but more like the tar roads. and i would scream and get super scared when i went downhill. hohum.
then we stopped at a pavillion to do OUTDOOR COOKING !!
super fun. honestly.
nt like e magie mee we cooked at rvps camp, with fossil fuels and all.
we cooked rice, sausages and eggs.
without fossil fuels.
we collected leaves and twigs and tried to start a fire using a lighter -.-
weikian came up with this idea, trying to start a fire with tissue paper x)
and with mass tins, we came up with NASI LEMAK STYLE FOOD. WHOOTS.
serious. sunny side up and all.
and our rice was super fluffy and nice.
but ah well, the other grp won e 'cooking contest'
i guess its becos we had more hlp frm e adults.

and amazingly, my 1 scratch turned to 3 scratches. ah well.

so we cycled back, and on e way, it started drizzling. then it rained. then it poured.
and we were going downhill and i was scared i would skid and fall again so i pushed my bike along. with a few others.
and oh, did i mention that this guy who didn't know how to cycle was riding this trishaw thingy?
so all our bags were on it, covered with ponchos.

so this guy told us to take this route that was faster. and when we finally reached the starting point, which was like donkey hrs later, all the others were waiting for us -.-
so we picked up our bags, and thankfully mine was waterproof x) and then abigail started giving out ponchos so we could walk back to the jetty. which i tot was stupid seeing that we were already drenched.
we looked like we just swam up frm e jetty instead.
and my scratches were hurting like mad, and when i checked. hola. my 1 scratch which turned into 3 scratches now became like 12+++ scratches???
it looked like a bunch of cats with sharp claws had went after me.

well, when we reached changi jetty, we changed into fresh clothes and then went seperate ways. so i rushed home and then headed off to bedok for grandma's birthday party.

oh, random msg. the dad just telephoned to ask if i wanted a new super nice phone he saw in dubai which singapore definately didn't haf. hola. i'm happy with my w850i =] and he asked if i wanted shoes or anything. well.... dubai's stuff are exp so i said i didn't want any.
and i think he's coming back to visit soon. =]

back to topic. grandma's birthday.
the same chinese 9 course dinner.
and we rushed dere in a taxi cos we tot we were gonna be late, and turned up to be the earliest.
where has everyone's sense of punctuality gone to?

so i was tired when we got home.

and on monday, sch started.
was damm late. i gatecrashed into assembly.
cos i was so excited that for e 1st time i finish my work on time before sch reopened that i forgot to set my alarm -.-
and i was agitated over 'on call' taxi. and taxi thieves.

and seating arrangements changed. but i'm still with lydia becos zhang lao shi let us choose. so then its me, lydia, then kmy. 3 of us together.
i'm sitting right beside e left back door.
and hoho, english, math then sci rep. so cool.

and i was late AGAIN on thurs.
wasted lots of money.
and anw, random rants.

i'm getting pissed by some of my section sec1s.
i can't stand the denial, the pushing of responsibility, and everything else.
drop stand on ppl's head oso can dun admit say e stand just dropped on its own.
drop my instru still can say its nt her fault.
its either 'NOT ME' or 'NOT MY FAULT' in this super indignant voice
reminds me of some 3 yr old idiots.
when will this nonsense ever stop.

on a brighter note, mr cher just informed us that we'll be getting our band uni soon =]
and 'swearing' or whatever is in 4 mths.
it just means sec1s wuld be officially recruited into band.
and a new band uni costs $80 *GASPS*
mum generously agreed to sponser a part of it =]
cos i want to keep it after i graduate =] and anw, seeing that all e sec4s are so skinny, i dun think i wuld be able to wear any of their uni.

and oh, kmy noticed a worm on my coller on wed.
and she used my huge jap file to swat it off.
except we were quite certain it flew into my blouse.
so i was screaming and jumping at e bus stop, and i actually was so scared till i cried at e mrt station. and on e way while i was walking to 3rd lang, i was jumping and jumping with my pinafore un-belted like an idiot.
hey, dun laugh at me okay. i've got severe helmintophobia - fear of worms.

and oh, on wed i had to collect english hols hw, which was alot.
I TOTALLY HATE MRS KWAN NOW
SHE TREATS ME LIKE SHIT OKAY
i tell euu, ms yee is like so nice to kmy.
and mrs kwan treats me like shit.
after all i've done as an eng rep.
after e time i screamed myself hoarse over e stupid writing competition which involved diskettes.
when i sacrificed my lesson time and recesses to collect stupid work.
when i was nice to arrange everything in register order.
and this time, there were 6 things to collect, 4 IN papers and 2 book trails.
i didn't want any trouble and problems again so i wrote all instructions on how to hand in their work nicely on e board.
after collecting half e work, eng lesson came and mrs kwan told me to return dem back all e IN papers i collected.
WHAT E @!*#&@^#@!#@! DOWAN COLLECT TELL ME EARLIER LAH.
and i had already came up with this plan to collect the work neatly and efficiently.
and she ruined everything.
cos i told e ppl to put all their work in de order i told dem to, then i would put it in register order, then i would 1st fish out all e book trails 14, then e book trails 24 and so on.
and it would be much better den everything coming in together like what and then i haf to seperate it and then put it in register order.
den after she gave e order me to stop collecting e IN papers, and staple e book trails together, ppl came swarming to my table with staples, and demanding back their IN papers, and seperate pieces of homework came flooding my table.
i was so fed up i chased everyone back, seperated e book trails frm IN, returned all e IN, arranged e book trails in register and stapled then all myself.
I WAS FREAKING PISSED.
and that time we were doing grp work, and i was paying attention to what was going on okay. and then mrs kwan came said super sarcastically, "oh, joan cannot contribute because she's busy with these things"
I TOTALLY CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE.
SHE DOESN'T GIMME PRECISE INSTRUCTIONS
DUN LEMME COLLECT WORK DURING HER LESOSNS
WHEN I TRY TO SETTLE ALL THE COLLECTING WORK PROBS WHICH AROUSED BECOS OF HER AND BECOS I HAF TO COLLECT WORK ACCORDING TO HER PREFERANCES, SHE SCOLDS ME.
SO DAT MEANS I MUS ALWAYS COLLECT WORK DURING OTHER TEACHER'S LESSONS LAH
Y ARE TEACHERS ALL SO SELFISH
phew. i'm pissed.
y didn't i choose to be e sci rep instead?

and i haf alot of other stuff to say, alot of feelings to express. except i am too lazy to type it out.
so this post shall end here.
i shall go help get ready for my grandma's (mother side) birthday celebration.

today kinda sucked. but i was happyhappyhappy becos i went shopping at j8 with sarah and olivia =]]]]
dear sister, now is that what euu call life?
i hope kmy and sarah will be able to go to bugis on mon =]]

anw, i had ALOT ALOT ALOT of things to say about this wk. i could go ranting on and on and on for what seems like donkey yrs and fill up line after line about my miserable wk. i could present to you what looks like a few thousand word essay and still nt be contented after flooding my own blog. i could heat up the telephone until it exploded and still want to rant on and on.
but unfortunately, that is quite impossible. even if i was willing to talk, type, explode phones and hang laptops, i would pressume no one would be willing to look and listen.

but nevertheless, i shall still blog abit.
that is, after i wake up frm conking out into my usual many hrs of hibernation period.

PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB is the excat sign i need to be hung outside my bedroom.
or maybe, STOP. DO NOT ENTER. EXTREMELY WILD HIBERNATING CREATURE INSIDE. PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB OR PROVOKE.
i guess that should do the job.

i had a very very very miserable 3 days.
i shall just run thru it
details on saturday as i am very tired

mon:
- very late/just on time for sch
- jap = sucked

tues:
- drills were okay
- cme was nice
- changed seats. self-arrangement. still with lydia
- band was boring

wed:
- jap = sucked again
- sch was okay

thurs:
- late again
- drills = sucked like gollywosh.
- sch = okay
- band = nt bad. ms sia gd mood
- probs wif sec 1s in my section

and i hope sarah and kmy's feeling fine becos dey look very ill today.
and sarah still had to endure ms sia's endless scoldings.
i was, and am feeling miserable. i think its e back to sch blues.
although there's nt much work these few days.
and i've completed my math hw so there's nth to do now.
i shall finish watching my hk dramas and then go to sleep

i won't say its a good day back.
timetable changed. sighs....
and the poor me was nearly late for sch.
and hohum, the dearest jane tan requests a post abt it.
ho. that wun be until saturday, dear.
i went ranting on in class to everyone whu wuld hear how idiotic taxi drivers were and how cab booking/calling shld be banned. and how my dear wormie's face turned whiter and nose still grey after the sister dumped dynamo on it.
while kmy was ranting/reciting on and on about compound, elements, mixtures and blah to whoever would listen, which sadly, i wasn't one of them.
and i didn't bring my math stuff cos i forgot there was math =[[
but for e 1st time in donkey yrs, i understood what mrs soh was teaching about algebra. hoho. the topic today was smth like, simple algebric equations.
and i was kinda falling asleap during jap. whoops.
and thankew joanne for e nice souviner frm china =]]
we're changing seats tmr =[[
and the new timetable says we're going to have malay lessons.
as if jap isn't enuf.
and i got dumb xi you ji to do now.
sighs....
and i better get done with it or kmy wuld go bonkas.

i am nt asleap yet becos i spent 1 hr dily-daly-ing after packing my stuff, which took around 45 mins.
i am feeling very scared.
i feel like wailing like some preschool idiot dat i dowan to go to sch. nt dat it helps. sch is simply a painful reality of life.

i dowan to go back to the 5- hrs sleep routine
i dowan to go to sch and haf weirdest mood swings
i dowan to go jap and be e stupidiest person dere
i dowan to work work work everyday like crazy
i dowan to go for band and see ms sia
i dowan to do all those idiotic grp pws which always makes me mad
i dowan to be deprived of my hk dramas and laptop
i dowan to study like mad and fail my tests
i dowan to see irritating ppl

but sadly, these are the most basic things that are part of life. or at least, mine.
i'm feeling very scared.

and my piano teacher's driving me nuts

i am a happy and accomplished girl today. hohoho.
becos for e 1st time
I'M DONE WITH ALL MY HOMEWORK ON E LAST DAY OF HOLS WITHOUT RUSHING OR SLPING LATE OR NT SLPING.
HOHOHO
new record. last day of hols, 8.30pm
nt bad nt bad
my previous ones were: 1st day of sch, 6am
actually i still got abit of undone work. becos i lost 1 IN paper and sum questions of my review papers i duno how to do. hmm...
but its still an ACHIEVEMENT =]]]]
becos i am a well known PROCASTINATOR x)
i shall slp SEVEN HRS tonight =]]]]
YAY!
so therefore, i shall refrain frm posting about pulau ubin and pack my stuff and get ready for sch. my schbag's somehow empty cos i keep taking books out to refer when i'm doing my work
and i still haf THREE STACKS OF PAPERS to pack x)
and there is JAP tmr
somehow i'm feeling quite excited abt it =]]]

PULAU UBIN ！！！！

i am very tempted to post about today's happenings, but i am super tired, and still have loads of work to do, and will be very busy tmr and nxt wk, so i shall post and upload my pics nxt sat.
though i might forget alot of details. -sigh- but it can't be helped.

on to the homework...

sighs... i haven't been doing my work :[[[
well, today we met for xi you ji at ach. and i was damm angry lah. becos horh, kmy, lydia and olivia was dere. then 3 of dem went for dental right at 9.30, when we were supposed to meet. okay... so then nien ping and sarah came at 10am. ) :< but sarah had a reasonable excuse lah. cos she got headache so she slpt later abit. then vanessa didn't come cos she cannot. okay... so kmy had this new idea for e script, then she was at dentist so she cannot us. and olivia's dental was at 3.30 and she went ?!?! den fine. we waited for dem to come back until 10.30. den we started. so blah blah blah. then olivia kept saying she gotto go early. then sarah had to go at 11.30 becos she had piano. so we went to macs for lunch. then lydia had to go home, olivia had hockey and nienping had dental at 1.30 so dey all left. so then me and kmy continued with e script at macs. and i felt bad cos she was like, writing everything, and i couldn't help much becos my chinese absolutely sucks so i offered to type it out and print. so then i did my hw. and i couldn't think of prob situations for dnt, and 少年文摘 nearly killed me. so then i studied jap for abit. and oh, chengmei was sitting behind me, and i was trying my best to pretend that i didn't see her. heehee. with no hlp frm kmy ) :< haha jkjk. so i ate alot of junk again lah... tsk tsk

and today is e last day i can watch my many hk serial dramas i've became addicted to :[[[ and they haven't ended yet. sad. i shall have to rely on the trusty dvd recorder again :]]}
i feel very, very, VERY indignant when i watch 铁血保镖
i feel like punching dat big uncle and 2nd brother when i watch it
and i can feel e start of sch pressure coming back :[[[ cos i'm starting to experience my mood swings again. haha. and the craziness. hoho. sarah, kmy, nienping and lydia can tell euu :]]
pulau ubin and grandma's birthday celebration tmr =S
usual 8 course dinner? i hope not.
i dun like it. feel so bloated after dat. and to add it on, continuous flows of drinks.
i'm feeling quite tired now.
i shall continue watching 酒店风云
and then go do my work :[[ which is alot.
i hate jap

ok, so today was kinda packed.

1. slept at 3am
2. woke up at 7.30am
3. left hse at 8.15am
4. reached sch for dental appointment at 9.15am
5. located the dental clinic at 9.25
6. waited until 10.10am
7. left the dental clinic at 10.45am
8. reached band rm for section prac at 10.50am
9. practiced until 11.15am
10. went for lunch until 12pm
13. practiced until 1.30pm
14. band officially started until 4.30pm
15. left sch. went to macs. took bus. reached amk int at 5.40pm
16. reached sengkang int at 6.40. went to kfc.
17. reached home at 7.15

well.... its kinda detailed x)
i am feeling very tired now.
but i must try to complete my homework
rah

and oh, dental was okay. and i was running late cos my appointment was at 9.15 and i was running like mad. after checking e directory which said that e clinic was at e pri section 3rd floor, i rushed dere, and didn't see e dental clinic cos i tot it was a classrm. and i tried to trespass into e pri hod rm. ohmygosh. then i heard the drilling thingy and i opened e classrm door and TADAH. there was letian and weilu :]]

and i only had to get 1 tooth patched :]] e dentist was temperamental. she kept being nice at one time and then nxt min flare up :[[ ah well, could haf been worse :]]

and sectional prac was okay. so e 5 of us are going to share a tuner. which means.... well i duno how to say this. nvms. so i paid for olivia's part too, and i was like, why me? i mean, no one wanted to pay for her so... ahh. i'm pretty worried cos i'm always doing such things and getting myself into trouble. at e last class chalet 3 idiotic ppl left without paying and ticked their names so i duno whu dey were. ended up having to pay for dem loh. then there was this guy whu came without bring any money i had to pay for him and had e responsibility to hunt him down afterwards and i'm nt even on gd terms wif him. and then i lend some ppl money, whu refuses to pay me back, and then tadah, what an amazing honour it becomes all my fault and my own business

and then well... i dun really like some ppl in band, some ppl in my squad and some ppl... well... in my section. well i guess its no secret cos erh...its pretty obvious i guess. i'm really tired of all this stupid thing about mantaining good social relations with others. i mean, everyone keeps things from everyone and we all become hypocrites. people in this society are all so hypocritical. act so nice to you then talk about behind your backs. i think this is really stupid lah. and i know alot of things are going on now, and are going to continue going on later, but i am a person whu totally can't do this stupid social relation thingy and would just trash it out at e person i dun like. or else i wuld just shut up and try mantain harmony. well, perhaps i would try to get along better with that person cos yah i noe i haveto mantain social harmony and get along well wif everyone blah blah becos its impt, and perhaps try be nicer to that person. well i guess i'm quite a hypocrite too. in fact, who isn't? its the way that we're trained to grow up.

but i guess its really getting on my nerves. i think e only person i get along very very well with in my section is qixuan. i also duno y lah... i mean, i guess she's e more friendly kind and though i haven't known her for long, hahas i was e 1st one to know her when she just got transfered over. and i guess it was pretty awkward with her around for awhile but then soon we got along better :]] and we're always practicing together and blah. and we, erh... just simply get along better.

and i am quite fed up and pissed with all that repeatedly repeated dumb things that i kinda flared up today. i am quite, in fact, very, irritated. -sighs miserably- is this just one of another stupid facts of life?

ahh well, forget it. so sec prac was... okay. i didn't eat breakfast cos i was scared the food particles stuck in my teeth and e dentist would go polking my gums (ouch!) with that sharp metal thing. so we prac for awhile, then we went for lunch, which i didn't eat cos... i just didn't feel like eating. so the usual 2 pkts of vitasoy :]]] and then we went back and pracitced... until band started.

and today's band was mr ong again. BORING. he was like repeating what he said on tues, except this time we were with the et and french horns too. and then, there goes part two of weiyun's recorded dialouge

mr ong: what is your instru? wind, percussion or string?
trumpets and trombones: (answering almost immediately) WIND
mr ong: correct! what is wind
trumpets and trombones: (while others were looking confused) MOVING AIR
mr ong: yes! how to you get moving air?
trumpets and trombones: BLOW

hoho. so everything was like, repeated.
and e trumpets and trombones kept laughing silently. hoha.

and okay... shiying and diana came up with this stupid mouth exercise cos dey said that their mouth was very suan frm blowing.
they went GUWAAAHH GUWAAAHH GUWAAAHH while stretching their mouths as wide as possible.
the ETs were looking at us in alarm.

it was pretty embarrassing.
and there were 2 pieces of news. both are... well, kinda netural to me lah.

1. our band's going to take part in e international band competition in genting this december and sec 1s mightttt be able to participate.
although i think ms sia wun pick all of us cos our squad's so big. sigh.
i shall haf to work doubly hard frm now -nods vigorously- so that i will be able to go :]]
but its $500 per person. *GASPS*
i shall also save money so that the mother would not nag.
that is, if i get to go.

2. becos of public complains, overnight stays at chalets or any public places would nt be allowed during pop frm now onwards.
i can't say that its bad.
i can't say that its good either.
i've got alot of comments.
but i can't find a way to express it.
there are many things being kept silent, and many things that ought to be kept silent.
and i guess this is one of them.

and i feel so sinful okay.
macs, kfc, junk food.
90% of me is made up of rubbish.
-wince pathetically-
i suppose i just can't resist tempetations

i shall get started on those idiotic hw.
while eating nacho cheese flaoured doritos :]]

ripped off weiyun's blog

"so played, and went for self prac.
or we thought so.
when we got to forum, mr ong was coaching our seniors.
we were like, heehee.
then grace was like, no, sec ones stay with mr ong.
we went like, what???
so it was the start of another boring lesson.
mr ong: wad is your instrument? woodwind, percussion, string?
us: brass
mr ong: no, woodwind, percussion, string?
us: brass.
this went on for quite a while until some smart person said: wind.
mr ong: GOOD! what is wind?
us: HUH?
mr ong: WHAT is wind?
somebody again: moving air.
mr ong: GOOD! how you make moving air?
us: buzz.
mr ong: no!!!
somebody again: blow.
mr ong: good!!!

ohmygosh.
such a boring lesson, how to not fall asleep?
so, then, he brought us over the piano and played notes and wanted us to buzz them on our mouthpiece.
oh, btw, did i mention that we were with the trombones.
so haha, he played, we buzzed, till ms sia came out and was like:
MR ONG!!!
nonono, trumpets guai de, no need that coaching.
is the trombones!
mr ong was, well, shocked luh.
so haha, trumpets got to sit!!!
then trombones sat down too. -.-
then ms sia was like, trumpets today the best right??
all of us were shocked till dunno wad liao, how to talk??
then she was like: OI! i say your section the best, you must say yes right?
we went: yes.
more out of shock.
so YEAH! we were praised for the FIRST ever time we came into band.
YESYESYES!!!!!
we were happy like crazy.
i momentarily forgot to hate sia. haha"

urghhh....
did she realised that by praising the trumpets, she was insulting e trombones?
nvms, back to yesterday, i found rachel (tuba) so funny
she saw me outside macs and started banging on the glass divider.

and anw, i duno what happened to my friendster
my whole profile was auto deleted
-sigh-
i am quite bored

'last min holiday hw rush' timetable:
wed - geography wb, 少年文摘 ws, 2 book trails activity
thurs - 自渎课 ws, dnt ws, filing
friday - IN newspaper activities, jap hw. anything undone.
x)

i might just finish my hw on time afterall.
and i've decided nt to study for e asean chinese quiz
heck cares if i fail

and hohoho. i think mum is scared that i might study jap till i go mental x)
she told me to quit if i can't take it
becos she's heard of alot of friends, or friend's children, going mental and suffering frm depression, mostly frm studying too much and mainly, stress.
ha. finally she admits that i do haf stress
hey, i'm human okay.
but wdv she says, i noe dat she wun be happy if i quit.
but well, i shall take my time to decide.
pls tell me if i'm going mental.
becos its scientifically proven that mental ppl wun know when they're going mental.

well, i shall go do my HOMEWORK now =S
I CAN DO IT !!
-hopefully-

hohoho. the geog wb is finally completed :]]] except for 2 pgs =S

and anw, i'm really scared abt my dental tmr cos i haven't been to e dentist in like, 2 yrs and well i'm scared my teeth's all decayed so badly that i gotta get it filled or worse, extracted. and well i guess all my past experiences at the dentist haf been pretty bad. there was this time where e dentist extracted this unshaky milk tooth of mine becos e new adult tooth had grown and was pushing e old one to e side. and i mean, it was pretty weird with 2 huge teeth sticking out of 1 gum hole, so er e dentist decided to pluck it out. and it was so hard to that she had to use e pliers to try loosen it 4 times by shaking it hard before it came out, while sucking out all e blood, which was alot, by using this tube thingy. and she made me hold it, and it was quite scary watching all my blood being being sucked into i duno where. and it was total eew and oww.

and i totally can't stand pain.
-sighs miserablely-

i feel quite sick thinking abt jap
i see no reason not to quit
but i see loads of reasons to
but i just can't seem to let go of it
what is wrong with me?
i think i will quit if i do fail my CA4. again.
i am so behind.
but i'm just refusing to let go.
but it would be more of a heartache if i let go of it even later.
will i ever pass my CA4?
i've never ever passed anything in jap, even home assignments like my essays. and e only thing i've passed is my counter test, which almost e whole class got full marks in. and it was just a narrow, and lucky pass.
but if i were to give up, wouldn't it be a complete waste?
many ppl say its just useless.
but i just don't want to give it up.
i don't want to.
but i suppsoe i really have to if i start flunking everything, including sch subs.
but i really don't want to.

i think the pressure is starting to come back.
now that its only 4 more days. and all that undone stuff.
-sigh-
but, I CAN DO ALL THINGS IN CHRIST THAT STRENGTHENS ME :]]
i can do it :]]]

on to the book trails :]]]

well... today wasn't a very good day.
and i am feeling very very VERY indignant.
stupid prawn.

ah well... i arrived at sch at 1.10 cos i was scared i reached late and end up being super early... so i was waiting in e forum for qixuan cos i tot e other sec 1s wern't dere yet... and i had no idea what was e sec 2s and 3s doing in e netball court. well... so i met qixuan at 1.25... and we went to e band rm... and sandy was like, "ORH HORHHH....-waggles finger at us- " and we were like, 'what? -looks confused- and we were supposed to come only at 1.30 ?!

so nvm, we found out dat e sec 1s arrived DAMM LONG AGO LAH. ok den we took our instru and was going to e music rm... then ms sia told us she ony wanted to see e clarinet sec 1s. ah well... so we were like very happy. so we practiced wif our section. then e clarinets came and told e trumpets to go in... then they told us dat ms sia was going to test us ONE BY ONE. AHHH. then we started practicing e scales and blah. then she called e us in... so we went in... and she was testing e trumpets while we practiced. then we were blowing halfway she suddenly went, 'TROMBONES! WHAT ARE YOU PRACTICING ?!?!" then we were like huh... then she scolded and scolded say we practicing rubbish 'ee-ee' 'or-or' so noisy. den she went, "GET OUT!!! GO OUT AND PRACTICE UNTIL YOU ARE READY" then we went out... haii. we were super angry lah. then we stood outside e rm until she asked us in again. then we said to her, "sorry ms sia" then SHE STARTED SCOLDING US AGAIN. can euu believe it? hurmphhhhh. so angry.

ok, then she started testing me scales. then she keep moving my slide until i dun even noe what note i suppsoed to be playing. then i can't hold high notes long enuf then she scold me say i NEVER PRACTICE. HURMPHHHH. cannot play doesn't mean nv practice okay. and i could play my scales fine when i was practicing. AHHH. SO ANGRY. ok den she called e whole band (sec 1s) in to play scales together. and she keep picking on percussion, which is always what she does... poor xinyun... i think she was very sad... she got sent out... ah well... then qixuan, diana, shiying and me did this chao stupid idea lah. but it works very well... hehehe. -grins wickedly- me and diana would blow e 1st 4 counts den qixuan and shiying wuld blow e 2nd 4 counts :]]] i think ms sia knows though... :[[ she said that we were playing rubbish :[[[

ahh well... when we finally left, we went to e forum. and then MR ONG WANTED TO SEE US!!! AHHH!!! well, its a bad, bad day... :[[ uh anw, mr ong is e other conductor... and to think we were so happy at 1st cos we tot we wun haf to see ms sia or mr ong dat day... ahhh... ok, so mr ong was teaching us (trumpet and trombone sec1s) how to ehh.. breathe?... and blow... he is like, so different frm ms sia in all ways i can think of... ms sia goes for efficiency while mr ong goes really slowly. but i suppose both of then go for perfection. haha. only they use different ways to get us to achieve it. and i think mr ong is kinda... luo suo. he went like, "what is wind" and he repeated it SOOOO MANY TIMES. then we keep saying moving air den he can't hear. ah... many other funny things happened i guess. it was just blowing, buzzing, breathing, and much exercise of our diaphragm.

and AHHHHH. speaking of this i feel DAMM INDIGNANT okay!!! ms sia came over and blah blah... then mr ong was saying e trumpets can't blow. then ms sia was like, 'nono its e trombones dat are lousy..., e trumpets very guai one...' then e 4 of us were like, "URGHHH" then ms sia was looking at me and saying, "can't even play scales HORHH... -glares at me-" then mr ong, whu told shiying off for being inattentive while he was talking just now, looks at me, mistakes me for shiying and went, "this one arh -points at me-? the very inattentive one" i was like, "ME?! -wrings arms in injustice and indignant- ME?!?!?! URGHHHHH!!!!" AHH I'M SUPER ANGRY WIF DEM... haii. if i can't stand it now, i duno how i'm going to survive in band for e nxt 3 yrs... :[[[ sad lah.

and ms sia keeps insulting ppl!!! she keep saying ppl retarded and stupid and dumb. and she said that I WAS FAT. well i am lah... she was like, telling us how she tortures e clarinets until dey all so skinny den she was looking at e trombones and saying obviously she doesn't torture us enuf cos some of us are fat. and she was looking at me pointedly while saying lah. so what lorh...

haiii... i suppose it'll be worse nxt time. cos she seems to torture our seniors more den us. and as most ppl tell us, ms sia loves sec1s.
i duno how dey take it. this is already killing me.
haii... i am happy becos i haf finished my MATH REVIEW PAPER :]]] YAY :]]]
but e physics and chem is still quite blank :[[[
haii. i'm supposed to study jap wif joanne tmr but i think i won't cos i gotta finish my hw by friday cos i wun be free on sat and sun.
i wanted to do my hw on thurs after dental appointment before band but very unfortunately, there's self prac at 10.30am... and dental is at 9.15am, which doesn't leave much time for hw... haii... i hope e dentist wun do anything funny to my teeth. 10.30-12.30pm = band 1.30-4.30 = band. and ms sia wuld be testing us again... if e dentist plucks my tooth or smth, uhhh.... i shall worry about it when it does happen...

i guess this is nt a very gd wk... :[[[

hohoho. today was total SLACK

woke up at 2pm. hehe... -grins embarrassedly- mum and i then went to wasabi to haf lunch, cos they're promoting this super worth it set lunch, which comprises of 5 pieces of chicken (karage), chawamushi (steamed egg), a drink, and e main thingy, which can be sashimi, sushi, soba or ramen. and their japanese green tea is free flow :]] though i hate tea. nice food, nice ambience, reasonable price, unlimited supply of green tea, very worth it -nods vigorously-
hoho, then i met michelle, and she had a meal too, cos she came over to e library to borrow books for her lit anthalogy. hahaha. and we went walk around, look at clothes, share ice cream (gelato italiano :]]) and when we both went home, it was already 6 :]] -grins guiltily-
and then i watched e dasepo girls movie, hoho. e sch is called 'no use high sch' and e students keep having sex. sounds a little sick lah... but its quite decent, like a comedy. and omg lah e girl's uniforms skirt was so frigging short. really really short. hohoho. i can't ever imagine this happening in singapore x)

then i watched my 2 hk dramas frm 8-10. hoho. i'm very super awake now so i guess i'll go finish up all those review papers :] very unfortunately, e maths one haf been uploaded -groans-

and oh, i guess my hair's back to normal... as usual, she's layered it such a way that e top is so short so i guess its back to the hairbands and clips :[[ and she did smth to my fringe that makes it look like dried grass :[[ but i guess it looks normal when i tie it... hopefully....

and i guess its getting a little depressing, seeing that i still haven't gone out with kmy, and wun haf e time to. and i haven't met up wif e old sch ppl too, ha, karen, claudia, michelle, zann, alicia etc etc... well i guess i do miss them rather much :'(

well... there's band tmr. i hope everyone, including me, whu has forgotten to bring our consent froms last band prac, rmbs to bring it tmr :]] and i shall get e geog ans sheet frm sarah tmr, in return for 5 pieces of foolscap? hohoho. her's very unfortunately ran out...

ha. crapped enuf i guess. shall head off to my review papers, physics and chem's really making me vomit blood x.x ... e gd news is that maths is ony 3pgs, and comprises of mostly statistics, which mostly involves graph drawing, which i rather like :]] and e ans are provided... hoho. but i guess e ans are quite useless, cos its e workings dat are impt... i suppose. and i've forgotten how to do alot of stuff :[[

i wonder if i'll ever finish my homework by this friday?

i guess today wasn't a good day.
1st thing i woke up, rushed out of e hse without eating anything cos i was rushing for e train that leaves at 8.32am. :[[ the nxt one leaves at 8.42am so i'll scared that i might miss the shuttle bus to marina that leaves punggol mrt at 8.45 :[[
so i went on e bus, and e bus left for church. and e moment i reached church, what shld happen but gastric pains =S
and i 忍 all e way thru sunday sch, where we were talking abt God's family tree and stuff. then during break time it went really bad. and this guy (uncle william) was like:

uw: wat time did euu slp last nite? (thinking i was sleepy)
me: er, quite late
uw: how late? 1am? 2am? (haha i suppose he does know teens very well)
me: er, somewhere around dere larh -grins guiltily-
uw: hahaha. internet right? (see i told eu he know's teens well)
me: how did euu noe?!
uw: haha. my son also lidat larh. i say as long as he can wake up nxt morning can already.
me: er ya.
(aunty dorothy comes over)
ad: what were you 2 saying?
uw: we were talking about her slping at 2am. haha
ad: what?! then this is nt called, "how late did you sleep" it shld be called "how early did you slp" !!

in actual fact, i slpt at 3.3oam =X

anw, i stayed at junior service cos it was nearer to e toliet cos i felt abit nauseous so in case i wanted to vomit i could always rush dere =S and i guess becos service is always so strict and like, er, serious so er, it isn't good for me to go dere when i'm feeling nauseous. and there was only a pathetic 1 pupil in junior service so me and this other guy, whu's sec 2, 'accompanied' him :] i guess i do like junior church. more fun and understandable :]]
and we played this memory verse game. we would pick an alphabet and then recite e verse den everytime we recite a word dat has e letter in it we had to stand up. and then we stood up and down and then my gastric was gone :]] yay :]]

and then i took e shuttle back home. in e afternoon it goes straight to compass point. so then the bus came everyone started squashing their way up, and me, whu always hated to squish in crowds let dem all go 1st. then dere was no seats left and the rule was euu wern't supposed to stand. and i was like, oh shit dun tell me i gotta wait for e 1.15 bus (it was 12.15) and then this nice lady, getting her 2 young children to sit on her lap, gave me a space to sit :]]] that was so nice. :]]] and then i heard her kids asking, "mummy, the uncle said that if got no seat haf to wait 1hr for e nxt bus rite?" den the lady was like, "yes. so we should be considerate and try to squeeze as many people in" omg. dat was so considerate and sweet :]]]

then i finished watching harry potter and e philosopher stone, and got stated on chamber of secrets. oh golly, i did miss e 1st 2 movies. dey were so greatttt :]] nice music and sound effects and i think e acting, though a little unnatural in e 1st movie cos harry, ron and hermione were still young, it was really well shot. and e 2nd movie was so nice :]] and harry's voice sounded deeper and he and ron looked more shuai too :] and hermione was so so much prettier and sweet :]]] i think she did smth to her hair cos actually it just look messy and bushy but in e 2nd movie it curled nicey and neatly :]] and it was so amusing when auther weasly asked harry, "what excally, is the function of a rubber duck" and both their expressions were so cute :]] and ron too, when he received e howler :]] and e part where hermione hugged harry and harry hugged hagrid was so touching :]]] i like hermione very much cos she's so sweet :]] and is geting prettier :]] i guess its a universal fact that ppl change as they grow up :]
i guess i'm a little obessed over this thing. hohoho.

slept frm 4pm-9pm after dat to make up for e lack of slp last nite :] which is quite bad cos i haven't got started on my work :[ oh dear. i had better do smth tonight.
and i've gotta memorize my 2 chapters of jap vocab before wed cos i'm studying e sentence structures and grammar, particles, conjunctions and all sorts of funny stuff with joanne then =S
and my pw grp is meeting for xi you ji script writing on friday, which is bad too. becos then i shall haf to go to sch on tues, thurs, and friday, and ill be out out e entire day on sat cos its pulau ubin in e morning and then grandma's birthday celebration.

oh dear, time is pretty tight.
i shall haf to stop slacking :[

hohoho i'm nt asleap yet :[[ and that is a bad bad thing becos i gotta wake up early for church tmr :[
but since there is no piano tmr, i can slp when i come back :]]
then gotta go study my last two chapter's vocab and do my HOMEWORK
*i'm scared*
i haf been reading blogs :]]]
and i wonder
why do some ppl enjoy themselves so much during CCAs?
i guess i still haf e 'i enjoy CCAs more den 3rd lang' perception
but i wonder if it'll change soon.
haii. i shall stop going on and on abt this cos it just makes me lament on and on about my griefs and sadness and feel more depressed.
i shall just haf to accept the facts and reality and hope that my life will get better

and hohoho. the sister tells me to quit 3rd lang =S
having 2 free days sounds quite tempting *lick lips hopefully*
but what if i regret it for e rest of my life?
i've had too many bad experiences

oh gawd. i'm finally done till chapter 6. but i keep forgetting e vocab, how to read and write and all. AHHH. its driving me crazy. and studying for CA4 really drives me crazy. it's going to be so much more cheem then all e other CA papers i took. i've gotta learn so many different versions of things. i gotta know when to use what particle. i gotta know how to use past tense and future tense and present tense. i gotta know how to change e tenses and there's different ways for different verbs. i gotta learn adjetives, and different kinds of adjetives go with different connectors. i gotta learn e calander and timings and all. i gotta learn to change verbs to dictionary form. i gotta learn SO MANY THINGS THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND AND IS SO DIFFICULT TO.
i am going insane soon.
i think i shall just put jap aside for awhile and get started on my homework. i might just rip that stupid english-forbidden-jap-filled un-understandable textbook subconsiously.
I AM GOING CRAZY.
i shall just memorize my vocab as its written, and work on e rest at moelc when sch reopens.
i think i do need that resourceful library at moelc where decent english-filled books explaining jap stuff are kept.
i think my jap textbook is just plain stupid cos it explains jap in jap so if euu dun know jap how are euu suppose to read jap to learn jap cos euu can't even read it in e 1st place ??

and i'm starting to feel quite stressed about my undone homework, now that its only 7 more days to sch reopen-ing. in fact, i feel like cooping myself in e hse and pon-ing band, nt going for e pulau ubin trip, skipping church and nt going to my grandmother's birthday party to chiong all those idiot assignments. but obviously i'm nt going to cos its so sinful :[[
i think it has became part of my holiday routine. slack 95% and chiong 5%. but this is already an improvement, that i didn't do everything right on the very last day of e hols, which is what i usually do. i duno what's wrong with my, but yes, i admit i have very horrible time management. i just don't seem to be motivated to do my work until e very last min. and now with jap and everything else... put it in a simplier way, i'm just feeling stressed.
i shall work doubly hard frm today onwards :]]

i am feeling quite.... scared.
i guess.
there's this feeling which often comes into me when i 'rmb' that i've got so many problems, most of which cannot be solved, or is really hard to solve. i'll feel really scared to face my problems and everything. i'll just feel like running far far away where there's no such thing as jap and homework and school and assignments and most impt, problems. sometimes i think that mentally challenged people are the most carefree, untroubled people cos they don't have to care about anything. everything in their world is so simple, becos they don't want anything, just having living necessities makes them happy.
the world is so complicated becos of our wants
we keep wanting a better life, to be prosperous, to make a name for ourselves. but if we slog half our life away becos of our wants, wouldn't it be happier if we were to live a simplier life?
no wonder God said nt to covet
it just makes you more miserable

why are people so funny
actually so carefree
then becos we greedy
go and study study study
all becos of money
until so unahppy

hohoho :) i am happyhappyhappy today cos i haf finished studying e vocab for jap up tp chap 5 :]]]
and hahaha, kmy got 100% for my true friend's test :]] though she woke me up this afternoon, calling me to ask what was my fave colour :]] hohoho.
btw, ppl out dere just note, i sleep and wake up very very late during hols :]] like 2am - 12pm or s :]]] mus slp as much as i can now :]]]

and i shall try to finish studying chap 6 of jap today, den i shall do chap 7 & 8 tmr cos its tested, and e most impt chapters for CA4 :)
and i haven't gotten to washing my hair yet so i duno how it'll turn out =X
i'll miss e super straight one now :[[
right, i shall continue watching harry potter and e philosopher stone now :))
and i'm looking forward to band on tues cos for once, I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING :]]]]] YAY :]]

i think i might be able to avoid the last day homework rush this hols :]]]
there was once i had to copy out 10 zuo wen's on e last day of hols =X
didn't slp all night. cos dere was still church frm morning to afternoon :[[
I SHALL TRY TO BREAK MY RECORD BY SLEEPING EARLY ON E LAST DAY OF HOLS BECOS I DUN NID TO RUSH HW :]]]]

hahahas.
i hope i can do it :]]]

i am a happy happy girl today :) hohoho
cos my haircut went great :)))
me and mum went over to kovan to eat 1st. yoshinoya was super yum :) teriyaki chicken and salmon combo, ice lemon tea and 3 scallops, all for 9 bucks. :) thx to e discount coupons given to us on e way dere :)))

then we walked over to kimage, where pauline, my cousin's colleague and er... e person whu rents a rm in his hse, worked at. cos once pauline came over to our hse to hlp me, mum and sis cut hair and i like her style becos she seems to know what i want :) i come back frm other hairdressers, hair still looking like a heap of seaweed but pauline cuts it really neat and thin :) it came to me as rather shocking cos as i had e haircut in e living rm, and there was no mirror, i had no idea what she was doing to my hair. and after she cut it i felt really light and floaty and i went to check how it looked and TADAH, my hair was like, so freakily thin. nt exagerating but it looked really like 10x thiner. hahaha. i kept forgetting nt to use so much shampoo anymore :)

and pauline is so nice okay. 1st she gave me a haircut, then she hlp me wash and massage my head :) i felt really funny cos no one's ever hlp me wash my hair like dat before :) and e shampoo was e posh and nice smelling kind :) then she blew dry my hair and hlp me cut again cos she said that my hair still looked so thick :( hohoho. then she used the funny iron thingy to temporary straighten it :) and steam was like, coming out which made my head look like it was on fire :( and she did all this voluntarily and i didn't even ask her to do it all i expected was a haircut and nth else. and she only charged me $25 for everything ?! e haircut, wash, blow, and temp straightening, nt to mention that she did everything when i didn't even ask her to. and euu noe if euu did this stuff at kimage it'll cost euu a bomb. and she keep putting e vitamin thingy on my hair to make it softer somemore. she is like so, so nice larh. i lurve her to bits :)))

and hohoho. i feel weird cos its e 1st time my hair's ever been so straight and thin :) though it effect will go off after i wash it tmr :( i like it alot when i tie it. haha. took pics of myself, will upload tmr. and i might consider a permenant rebond :)
i haven't seen e orginal state of my hair yet cos she straightened it after blow drying which means it was still messy and uncombed. so i hope it'll turn out right :)
will find out after i wash my hair tmr :)
i want it straight forever :(
but mummy wun lemme rebond :(
same as she wun lemme get contacts :(

i've just finished watching death note 1 & 2 on youtube and crunchyroll.com
very nice. but alot of complicating plots. just wished i could watch it in a cinema.
and the last part of e 2nd movie was so touching... when L and light died. it made me tear :'(
nice plot, nice storyline, nice actors.
very worth watching,

i've just watched e harry potter and e order of e phoenix trailer.
hahaha. nt as i expected. 1st, e dolores unbridge looks so motherly wif euu look at her wif another perception, 2nd harry potter looks horrible wif a haircut, 3rd voldermort looks disguesting, and 4th e castle looks weird now.
oh but anyway, hermione looks very much prettier than she was now.
but seriously, since they changed e director and actor for dumbedore after e 2nd movie, it had never been as nice. e director changed e castle and everything, and the new dumberdore didn't act as well as the 1st one oso.
i still like e old director. i think he did a better job.

and oh anw, i am very very pissed by certain people whu keep leaving me and other people out of things.
i dun think the other ppl know about this becos i think i'm one of e very few ppl whu can be bothered to scan line by line into ppl's blogs, link here and there and everywhere, trespassing into blogs of ppl dat i know but don't know me, or dun know dat i'm tresspassing. go thru friendster photoalbums... i think blog reading and photoalbum looking can be 1 of my hobbies.

back to my story, i keep wondering i'm i such a bad person that euu haf to dislike me, leave me out of things and ignore me. in fact, i think euu all might even hate me. i dun haf e courage to ask euu all why do euu keep doing this to me. why am i, and the others, always left out of everything? why do you ignore us so much? why do eu treat us as invisible ppl everytime euu see us? what did we do to deserve this?
what comes out frm eur mouth are just all criticism, snide remarks, scoldings. they might nt be hurt, but i am. even when euu talk to us, eu dun treat us like part of the group. we're always so extra and everything.
i know you all think we're very extra. but afterall, we are part of the group. stop treating us as a nuisance, a pest. we're nt deliberately irritating eu, or causing eu trouble. i haf this nagging feeling that of all of us, you all hate me the most. i know i seem unfriendly. but i'm nt, or at least i'm trying nt to be. i just can't help being unfriendly to ppl whom i don't get along well with. we just don't click. but stop leaving us out. stop dao-ing us. stop treating us this way. stop doing this to us. especially to me.
i'm beginning to dislike you all. stop it, please.

i'm feeling very moody.
i shall go to sleep, hoping that tmr will be a better day.

i am super bored now :(
i feel so un-accomplished becos 95% of my hw is still undone and i'm only up to chap 4 in my studying of jap :(
i was talking to kmy, then clarissa -cawawa x)- called her on her hse phone so we hung up :(

and i am going crazy being 24/7 in e hse.

1. Mum Makes Me Mad -m to the power of 4 x)-
2. its super hot
3. being hot makes me drowsy
4. being drowsy makes me dowan to study :(
5. nt studying makes me feel so slack and un-accomplished

boo.

anw, the eldest sis has arrived safely in bangkok and is now buying bras for mum x)
hope she rmbs to get me a present :)

and oh, i've made a 'true friend' test, request frm my bestest lab partner :) haha cos she's e only lab partner i've ever had :) filled wif stupid and rather lame questions... hahaha.

and sch is reopening soon... :) :( well... i duno what emo shld i haf
it'll be really busy in term 3 and all... back to e home at 7.30 and wake up at 5 procedure... and jap and projects and tests and graded assignments... :(
but on e brighter note, i'll be able to see my friends and classmates again :) i do miss dem...
and its depressing being cooped up in e hse all day :(
and i do miss all e excitement in sch :(

hahas. come to think of it, term 2, which i never thought i wuld survive thru, is over so soon. with all e tests and pw, and jap ca2 and ca3, and much stress, esp frm wk 7-9. with all e excitement of jubilate, band camp and pop... and our 1st ever enrichment wk... it was pretty eventful. but i'm quite glad its over... though the term ahead wuld be more challenging. 2 more terms to go, and we'll be 'upgraded' to sec 2s... hahaha. but we've already been forewarned, term 3 and 4 is nt going to be easy... though perhaps most of us sec 1s haf already gotten used to this kinda life. hohoho. as mrs soh always say, welcome to st. nicholas x)

i can never imagine why my parents are so biased to my eldest sis.
its always lynn this lynn that.
i'm nt being childish or stupid. i think even my second sis agrees with me.
its pretty obvious actually.
i am suffering frm injustice and indignation. and everytime i try to point out to my mum to stop being so biased she comes up with all kinds of ridiculous excuses to defend herself and my eldest sis.
the sense of injustice is so strong that it sometimes reduces me to tears.
i'm very very pissed now.

and i think, as kmy suggested sometime ago, i ought to go for emotions management course. hohoho. i think i really can't control my emotions. i get super angry and indignant when i watch hk dramas or other tv programmes. and euu noe, hk dramas are, obviously dramatic, so its like, i'll get damm ee-mo when i watch dem. muahahaha.

and i haf gotten so studying my vocab for jap up till chap 4 =] but i still will forget some, and i haven't learnt how to write e words yet... sad.... i shall continue working hard on it later =]

am emo-ly watching e hk drama, 酒店风云 （jiu dian feng yun) now =]
and am feeling very indignant

e poor me is still struggling with jap =[

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

hahas. all those out there whu can be botherted to do this stupid thing, i've discovered that its such a cheat. even though i know its a cheat, they didn't haf to cheat until so obvious larh...
i amused myself with this stupid thing for awhile, trying to discover what kind of funny obituary statements they could come up with.
hohoho...

anw, other stupid quizes i did cos i was too bored with studying....

Joan -- [adjective]: Smelling like turnips at all times 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You fit in with: Judeo-Christian 40% scientific. 60% faith-oriented.
	Your ideals mostly resemble those of the Judeo-Christian faith. You have the capacity for immense faith and spirituality. At your core, you believe in justice, goodness and redemption.
Take This Quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

MISSING: Joan

Was last seen learning to swallow swords

'What will you last be seen doing?' at QuizGalaxy.com

MISSING: Joan

Was last seen eating garbage

'What will you last be seen doing?' at QuizGalaxy.com

What will you be doing when the world ends?
	Baking a cake in the museum
'What will you be doing when the world ends?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You will go to jail for: You were mistaken for a serial killer because of your habit of wringing your hands in the air and yelling 'kill them all!' Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

What were you in your past life?

You were ... a cockroach in the Chernobyl reactor.

'What were you in your past life?' at QuizGalaxy.com

-[ Joan ]- Invented a contraption that irons your clothes while cooking an egg 'What will you be remembered for?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Why are you Crazy?
	Your parents taught you to scream like a banshee when you are happy
'Why are you Crazy?' at QuizGalaxy.com

hohoho. they are all cheats of course but its pretty fun doing it over and over seeing what ridiculous answers they have.
you ought to try it. its hilarious -nods-

and oh my dad thinks i've got a boyfriend. *GASP*
hell. i dun even haf enuf time to sleep on sch days euu tell me i've got a boyfriend ?!?
and i dun see any boys at sch unless at 3rd lang where all e guys are like, so studious kind.
and i will never get a boyfriend anytime soon. i'm already so tied up and busy wif sch work, 3rd lang and many many other stuff.
so dad, lay off the idea.
and my mum's starting to think i'm becoming les -.-
i'm just, more open. but i'm perfectly straight.
i tell her i miss my friends she starts running off wif e wrong idea.
1st worry i got boyfriend. now worry i become les.
go mix sch she oso worry, go girls sch she oso worry.
why are my parents so paranoid?

haii.
its just a plain generation gap.
which is a reasonable excuse, seeing that we've got 40 yrs of age difference.

i am very very bored now.
there's still a huge pile of stuff waiting for me to do.
but i've got a terrible headache now, and for e past few days.
was supposed to get a haircut frm my cousin's colleague, pauline, today but mum forgot to call her. hurmph.
and my mum still wun lemme get contacts.
and i suspect that she never will. cos she had bad experiences wif it before.
-sighs miserablely-
and there's e heat wave going on. especially at my hse cos the wind never gets in cos its surrounded by all e other blocks.
and i can't on e aircon cos e stupid architect designed it such a way that our air compressor is in our yard, which does nt haf a solid door, and e stupid thing is facing our hse.
which means e hot air goes thru e holey gate, into our kitchen and to our living rm. -groans-
and when euu open e front door, e neighbour's stupid compressor is facing us. -groans again-
i dun like e architect whu designed our hse =[

i am bored.
now i know how jane tan feels.

i was intending to rant on and on about how today was such a bad day and how people haf been mean to me. but since i'm nt in the mood to start going on and on boring euu people out there about my life stories, and God says to forgive and forget, i shall nt rant. but i suppose at the bottom of my heart i will never forgive, less will i ever forget.

and sometimes, i think i really ought to put my argumentative nature aside and stop arguing for the sake of putting my point across and make people accept my point of view, and stop lamenting my griefs and unjustice to everyone i meet, and start offending people all around.

though there's alot of things on my mind and in my heart that i want to get rid of. its kinda a burden. i can never keep things to myself i guess... thats just my nature. i just haf to go screaming to everyone i meet about my feelings and views on everything. and every detail about my life. i guess thats one of my worst points... i simply talk too much.

nt that i haven't ranted in detail about my horrible day and mean people though. going on and on emotionally, expressively and agitatedly on e phone to the poor kmy... haha.

on e brighter note, sis and i plan to slp late, around 3am tonight =] then we will wake up and go for breakfast at 9am, and she will go to work while i go back to sleep =]
so i'll prob be able to study until chap 2 of jap today =]

the unfinished homework and studying of jap is still weighing on my mind
i guess thats what my pri sch teacher used to try to make me understand
"don't procrastinate. get it done, and there'll be less stress. or else plan your time wisely, know that you'll finish your work within e deadline, and there'll be less worry"
i guess i can never help but procrastinate. thats just me.

i shall head off to jap now =]
sayonara

i am quite irritated by some people, or rather most people, who make me very irritated by their snide and sarcastic and dao-ing words that puts me down.
even those which are close to me.
its sometimes very irritating, the way they talk.
i duno how to describle it.
but i do get alot of practice frm my mum.
those whu've never experience irritating-ness to such an extend, you wun want to try it.
it drivies me crazy

words hurt, words flirt, words kill
but e most of all, words can be extremely irritating

I'M GOING CRAZY WITH JAP
but i'm still nt intending to give up =X

.... i made an appointment wif sis ages ago to go out with her to bugis tmr to choose my oh-so-very-belated birthday present.
but very unfortunately, diana forwarded me an sms that stated very clearly there was going to be self prac for sec1s, who knows only sec1s or our section or wdv. there's just going to be band at 1pm tmr.
so very unfortunately, i can't go to bugis wif sis anytime soon, cos all her off days are on tuesdays and i haf band every tues this hols.
when e poor miss oh-so-very-popular had to push off 3 appointments on that day to go out with me.
oh *gasps and clasp hands to my chest* i'm so gollywosh honoured
haiii... i wonder when will i finally get my birthday present =S

welll.... sis wants me to skip band and since ms sia wun be there, i actually see no harm in it. but i realli dowan to skip cos 1. if its sectionals regina wuld be after my blood and 2. if its nt sectionals, then sandy or graceho wuld be after my blood and 3. no matter what, qi xuan wuld be after my blood and 4. i dowan miss out learning anything and 5. i hate skipping anything that i'm suppose to attend

well, that's about it.
sis suggested that nxt time i wan skip band prac's dat doesn't involve e conductor i should just ask my whole section out to eat 麻辣火锅, tom yam and super spicy wan... =X i duno where she come's up with such brilliant interesting ideas....

well, i've gotten started on abittttttt of jap... nt enuf obviously... i shall aim to finish studying 2 chapters on 1 free day and do homework on band or nt so free days. and the rest of e free days i shall revise jap over. CA4's coming soon =[[

i shall continue watching death note on youtube =]]
and oh my gollywosh e reaper (e monster dat eats apples) is so adorable x)

i am in a frigging bad mood today.
1st, my mum asked me to go hougang mall with her to get her duno-wad-euu-call-dat type of flour for making her chee kuay. and she told me ntuc was sure to have it. so we went over for lunch as well, and when we went to ntuc we found out that dey didn't sell e duno-wad-euu-call-dat type of flour for making chee kuay. made me frigging pissed and irritated to find out dat we wasted 3 hrs going to hougang mall for nth when i could haf studied jap at home, suddenly motivated to study it suddenly this morn.

and as usual, nt a single word of apology was uttered. for a family of stubborn mules whu've never uttered a single word of sincere apology to each other, its a wonder we've managed to survive together for the past 13 yrs. well, she just thinks communication between e parents and child involves e parent interrogating the kid, or the parent talking and talking non-stop when e children are busy, or e parents nagging and nagging and irritating e children. when we tell her to stop talking her nonsense which no one is listening and no one understands, she tells us that if she doesn't talk there would be no communication between e family members. but obviously, i dun agree that communication is a one way thing where 1 is happily talking while e others are just frigging irritated.

and 2nd, when i've just cleared my table, piled it with my jap files and books, on my computer and opened my online language translation window, my dear oh-so-sweet neighbour living above me decided to haf her hse renovated. a process which obviousy involved drills. and noise.

i seriously need some earplugs.

why, when i'm nt motivated to do my hw or study, couldn't e neighbour haf her hse renovated at that time, and of all times, had to renovate her hse when i was about to study?

heaven does makes sport of men

i am feeling quite bored and restless. nt that i haf nth to do. its just that i'm nt in e mood to do it.
i'm seriously slacking.
anw, my 1st piano lesson in approx 3 yrs went nt as well as i expected.

1. e teacher was kinda nerdy
2. he talked to me like i'm stupid
3. he told me to go grade 1 theory

seriously, i prac my grade 2 scales so hard hoping that i'll be able to advance to grade 3 asap or take my grade 2 exam.
what i was expecting when i entered e rm was for e teacher to say, "i think you're beyond grade 2 standard. i think euu can progress to grade 3 soon" rather then, "i think you won't be able to take your grade 2 exam anytime soon and you ought to start with grade 1 theory".

he seriously underestimates me. hello... i used to take grade 4 prac and theory when i was pri 2 okay. just lost touch after so many yrs.

and he went thru grade 1 theory with me. and everything he was saying i already knew. and when i told him he said nvm treat it as a revision. and he wants me to to as many pgs of e theory bk that i can. just do everything i know. wanted to ask him, if i already know i still do for what. and i think i can just hand him e whole bk e nxt lesson, all completed.

and i already told him my sight reading sucks. and my norm piano tr wuld 1st ask me to play right hand, den left, and ask me go home prac, nxt lesson den do both hands. and he expected me to do it on e spot. he seriously underestimates me and overestimates me at e wrong areas.

haii. i shall just pray that i'll be able to progress quickily. maybe i'll go over to my sister's piano teacher. but it'll be much different. for 1 thing, its private lessons and much more exp, and e lesosns would be much more demanding and its 1.5hrs. but e gd thing is dat she's a gd piano tr, and e timing is nv fixed and can change if i'm nt free :]]. but i dun think i would change anytime. 1st becos of e fees, 2nd becos of e demanding-ness and time consuming-ness of e lesson.
pray for me, folks :]] i'm looking forward to my nxt piano cert :]]

i shall end this post now, and haf an early night. and perhaps i could wake up earlier den usual tmr and try to complete some work, seeing that i still haf to study 8 chapters of jap, do countless of in newspaper assignments, read 2 chinese mags and complete a ws that follows, my physics and chem review tests, study for chem test on term 3 wk 1, 60+ pgs of geog wb, design a jap poster and other stuff i've forgotten.

oh anw, pulau ubin trip registration extended to 17 June. anyone interested? lemme know i'll give yer e details :]]
byebye :]]

i have been feeling exceptionally retarded and dumb this few days.
i think its becos of e lack of e usually busy-ness that i'm starting to get a little depressed.

as usual, went for foc today. it was quite boring.
had bible study about... err... actually i duno wad's e topic. we just talk about some christian stuff... it feels weird with 2 comm members missing today.
then aunty dot talked about e christian soldier thingy... helmet of salvation... shield of faith... etc etc. then we played a boardgame about this topic. i came in last in e both times we played. boo :[[
and i'm really starting to feel quite irritated with some people whu come for foc. they like to ask stupid questions and are frigging irritating. and they talk without thinking. act cool and everything but actually they're frigging childish and irritating. it really pisses me to haf to attend foc with them sometimes.

also, i'm really quite irritated with some of my friends and 1J. i've been shouting about e pulau ubin trip for like, so long and no one even bothered about e post i put up on e class blog and reply my frequent tags about it. and i personally invited some people to go but they act like its nth impt. and e closing date is tmr so i guess i'll haf to end up going alone. and all e other people going are all, so out of my age grp. except for this sec 2 girl which i dun really get along with cos she's frm cedar girls'. i really dun understand why do cedar people hate st. nicks people so much. its really irritating. i was really getting along quite okay with her when i was still in pri 6 and then i was considering to go to st. nicks den she told me nt to cos st. nicks people sucks and cedar people hate dem like what. but i still went and now i think she hates me alot. we're in e same sunday sch class and we're e like, sortof, people expected to be good friends cos of our age. i mean, we're e only girls our age in church and foc, and there's only both of us and another guy in sunday sch so people just expect us to get along well. but obviously we dun just becos i'm in st. nicks. what kind of logic is that. she's in table tennis and according to her when i still had nth to do with st. nicks she told me that st. nicks and cedar were always competing in everything... but she wan just hate e st. nicks tt people larh (sorrie clarissa and patricia）but i also gt nth to do wif tt hate me for what. does it even make sense?

but anw, i dun hate her. but i can't say i like her either. its just in-between. perhaps we would get along very well if she could just be more open minded about this stupid st. nicks and cedar competition thingy. i personally think its very stupid for people to think this way.

i suppose i've ranted enuf to bore euu out now. haha.
i'm nt looking forward to doing my review tests and hw.
and to add on, lots of jap hw.
boo.

the urge to quit 3rd lang is getting stronger everyday.
i have almost forgotten what it's like to reach home by 2pm after sch everyday.
4pm is already impossible now. dun even mention 2pm.
should i?
or should i not?
its a hard decision.

as euu see, i've got a new blog html :]]
its named after one of my favourite christian songs :]]

As the Deer (Psalm 42:1)

ha. anyway...
tue's band prac's main vocab was 'dumb'
today's band prac's main vocab was 'pump'
it kinda rhymes :]]
and to add on to e misery, i scratched my leg wif my faulty trombone again.
its just below e scratch i made on tues
rah

today, i kept hearing e word 'pump pump pump' everywhere
and i didn't hand in my consent form cos i didn't get one
i was suppose to pump 20
but nice regina spared me :]]
but if i dun bring it again nxt band prac i gotta pump 60 *GASP FOR AIR*

today, ms sia was in a bad mood
according to me. but i think it could be worse
she made us sight read and play-without-practicing alot of stuff
and obviously, a sight-reading retard like me incurred her warth
den she asked us go outside prac e 3 variations of twinkle twinkle little star
and we prac awhile, slack alot x)
after dat she ask us play for e seniors to hear *GASPS*
and i messed up e variation 2. -groans-

then there was drills :[[
our new sc veri strict lerh... :[[
i miss simin :[[
den i keep messing up and when we marching on e spot i nv lock my arms and keep moving around
rah. kept getting lectured by seniors.
but i am quite happy today becos esther and regina called me by my name *grins*
ok... dats a stupid thing to get happy for... x)

the grandmother visited today :]]
going to eat dinner now.
byebye :]]

and... SARAH TAN MUST SING AND GO MACS WITH ME. MUAHAHAHA

just received a telly msg that there will be drills tmr after band prac frm 5-6pm (#@!&#^!*@)
and i received e band directory. it was pretty surprising and shocking at e same time.
i think i'm nt used to knowing so many ppl whu live in terrace hses.
and i never thought someday i would be going to a sec sch that is nt far frm where i used to live.
that so many people in sngs used to live near me
it occured to me that we might have been neighbours

and e trombone sec directory was shocking. at least, to me.
to my astonishment...

2 of my seniors live in compassvale street, which is near where i live.
1 of them live in marrymount view, which is near my old pri sch.
1 of them live in simei green, which was where my aunts lived and where i used to spend my whole june and dec hols.
1 of them live in sin ming ave blk 403, and i used to live in block 405.

omg. that was shocking.
e world is so small.

i'm so sian now cos according to me, its too early to go to sleep.
but then i haf nth else to do :[[ except homework
couldn't e harry potter book 7 come out in june ???

JOAN IS FEELING BORED

i wan my 95% fat free gelato italiano cookies and crean and choco mint... :[[
but i am officially going bankrupt... :[[

finally got to change my blogskin =] though its really what i want, it was e most decent skin i culd find cos me, being a html retard, obviously duno how to create my own blogskins.
i shall update e links sometime. and there's abit of e prob wif e font colour of e archives, credits and links. haii. i've always found e process of finding and changing blogskins extremely tedious.

i slpt until 12.30pm today and ate breakfast at 1pm, lunch at 3pm and slacked the whole day off. and obviously, my in newspaper assignments, my 54 pgs of geog wb, reading of my 2 chinese mags and my chem and physicsreview tests are still undone.

though i'm not really dat hopeless in chinese, i can't stand reading chinese stuff.
seriously, i take like 10x more time den a normal person to read something in chinese. and i duno so many words that i go .... blah blah blah 什么什么什么 blah blah 什么什么 blah blah blah ...
it explains very well y i dun read chinese mags and books. and why i didn't read all e chinese articles in connections. i dun even bother to read my chinese compre passages. i just look at e question and find e answers.
e chinese storybook my teacher gave me in P3 for topping e class in chinese is still unopened, untouched and unread.
there's just smth weird about my grades that i can't very well explain. i seem to get gd grades for subs i hate and lousy grades for subs i like.
heaven works in weird ways.

anw, there's band prac tmr. on one hand, i'll be glad to haf smth to do besides homework for once in e hols. on e other hand, i'm tired of being called 'sec 1s' and 'you' and 'oi' and 'dumb'.
i do hope qixuan comes tmr. if nt i'll die a horrible death.

and i think that i wun be able to finish all my hw by this wk... :[[ so i'll drag on till wk 3 of e hols, den study jap on e last wk i suppose... and if i really cannot get it i might just quit 3rd lang for good, instead of draging on and on and finding lessons tortorous and without purporse. it'll be a waste but i suppose its pointless to continue with it. :[
must consider carefully. dowan to regret it. since i've wanted to learn jap since i was 5. but maybe not during this kind of hectic and stressful school life. :[

i miss kmy :[[
ok thats pretty random
hope she gets well soon and go amk hub with me :]

it is officially past 12 midnight so this is my 1st post of e day
2 quotes frm weiyun's blog

"Justice and Loyalty people also.
not that Loyalty ranked our group low, but Justice groups were the ones that gave 0.
i mean like, they should at least be sensitive to other people right?
i know they are, like, best class and all, but giving 0 is all time low.
its like standing in front of the people who did the board game, ripping it into half, saying:
i think your game is a load of crap and shouldn't even be on Earth.
when you give 0, its when the instructions are unclear, and the game is torn and tattered,
and i dont think any group would come out with those crap shit stuff.
all of us have pride."

this is obviously about e english board game. i am sad to say that my grp was e one whu gave 4 marks out of 20 for grp 7 in unity. but for obvious reasons and we gave clear explanations to our actions and other classes whu graded grp 7 of unity also failed them so its valid. and i am sad to say i am too upset by the previous posts matter that i can't be bothered to argue abt e eng board game matter anymore, which is quite an achievement given the argumentative nature i'm born with.

"stop visting other's blogs, dont take to heart what people said"

i think this is something i can never do.
the tears are withheld by the strong sense of pride.
i am feeling throughly miserable and horrible by e fact dat i want to cry but i can't seem to.
i'm seriously feeling miserable.
i need to talk to kmy badly.
i want to confide my feelings to someone reliable.
whu wun scorn me and think my worries are childish.
i want to talk to her... :[[

i have always considered myself to be quite an emo person
but not to the extend that i will hurt myself, or even think about it
few people in this earth, including my mother, knows me well.
i am seriously feeling really really miserable.
shall not confide more lest i start offending people
in case the last people i want to read my blog is reading it
i want to talk to kmy :[[

i shall seriously go to sleep
like my dad's never-changing msn nick
明天会较好

third post of e day.
the more i read people's blogs, e more i find out stuff which i want to find out.
but e more i find out stuff which i want to find out, after reading those stuff i wished i had never found it.
why do people keep keeping things frm me?
i hate e feeling of being cheated.
of people doing things behind my back and keeping it frm me.
i just plain hate it.
I HATE THEM.
I'M NEVER GOING TO TALK TO THEM UNLESS NECESSARY FOR E REST OF MY 4 YRS IN ST. NICKS AND FOR E REST OF MY LIFE IF I EVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHY ARE THEY SO MEAN
I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM
i wished i had never met them in my whole life.
I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM LIKE HELL
HATE HATE HATE THEM
hell hath no fury like a woman pissed

Joan Chan
thirteen'
110594
sngs
1 Justice
snsb trombone

nike sling bag
myuk sling bag
new wallet
bigger pencil case

God
family
friends
sngs
1 Justice 07
1 Justice 07 counsellors
snsb, trombones

Min Yu
Wen Xin
Claudia
6A (rvps) 06'
Jessica
Karen
Jolene

high school musical - breaking free
high school musical - start of something new


high school musical - we're all in this together


michael learns to rock - you took my heart away


death cab for cutie - i will follow you into the dark


the fray - how to save a life


nick cave - where the wild roses grow


barry manilow - can't smile without you