.Saturday, September 01, 2007 ' 9:55 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
i just wasted 1 hr, nt to mention 90cents to go all the way to kovan to find that hairdresser pauline is nt free
i am pissed with mum who didn't check properly before telling me to go
i went all the way there just to watch mum and jean eat dinner and buy durians
both of which i am nt interested in participating
i am trying very very hard to memorize my trombone positionings. its a hard thing, with all the sharps and flats and whatever, and different positioning for the different notes in different octaves. like how low Eflat, normal Eflat and high Eflat have different positions. nt like how the piano works, you just have to sight read and press the correct key. i am trying very very hard to memorize the positioning cos 1 thing, ms sia doesn't allow us to write the positioning on our scores and will murder us, and if she doesn't our seniors wuld anyway :P and things will be much easier if i can memorize the positionings well cos then all i'll be left to do is to sight read the notes and rythem when ms sia suddenly makes us blow some unknown nonsense. nt to mention, take note of my pitch and tone, which i obviously don't and can't anyway. i am horribly tone deaf. i can't even differentiate the notes sometimes i don't know how i ended up in band. and i am, very unfortunately, still smacked right in the middle during combine. and there is a 50% chance i wuld be e 1st in e section to be called everytime sia makes us blow 1 by 1. and if i can memorize my positioning efficiently, i'll have less trouble with triplets, intervals and arpeggios which are absolutely horrendous. and blah blah blah. anyway, everything wuld just be easier if i could just memorize my positionings very, very well.
and the seniors have cca stand down, which means there's no one to take us for drills, lead us in setting up and update us on what to do and where to go, or is there to teach us whatever we have to learn. up till 17 sept, which is only when our cca stand down starts, we will be totally on our own. i guess even thru cca stand down, instead of relaxing i'll be busy practicing everything i have to practice from scales to the many many songs and blowing high notes. and for my studies i really have to buck up if i don't want to fail all my review tests, which is actually just a nicer name for EOYs. i just hoped that cca for us wuld stand down a little earlier so i could prepare for my jap EOY. anyway, i and the rest of e sec 1s wuld have a terrible time preparing for main band and swearing in. i just hope everything wuld go fine with sia. i wished that mr choy could take us instead cos he is so much nicer and he makes band less stressful. unfortunately ms sia wuld always be there.
me and the section greens have to work really really hard and stop slacking. all of them have lost the madness, laughter and motivation ever since ms sia labeled us as the worst section and started scolding us every practice. i got motivated to work harder ever since but instead omotivating the rest of the section greens, it made them chao depressed and pessimistic. they keep thinking since ms sia forever has that perception that our section is the worst, then let it be. we're just slacking, and when i try to motivate them to practice, they tell me, 'for what. ms sia already said we're the worst, so let it be', which sometimes pisses me off. i mean, if we work harder we won't be the worst forever.
and i'm losing my love for the trombone. i feel really mean saying this, but my mum is right. my tone is so horrible that when i blow it sounds more like an elephant than a music instru. and when i was put into trombones i seriously didn't know what it was. when i saw it i was like, super shocked cos it looked so so cool and long and everything. cos ever since i saw rvps brass band i've been noticing this long long thing (which actually was a trombone) and saw how it was played by pushing out and pulling in the slide and everything and thought it was so cool. i never thought that one day, i wuld be blowing it. but now i realised that there is so much more to blowing a trombone. the slide which i was once fascinated with doesn't seem remotedly interesting anymore. it seems so much of a chore to have to position accurately, estimate properly without taking our eyes off the conductor or the scores, and move up or down when its to flat or sharp, having to listen very very much on our pitch, unlike the other instrus where they just have to press their fingerings and thats that. we have to depend very much on listening, which is very unfortunate for the tone-deaf me.
i feel mean ):
i must learn to love my instru and blow it well (:
you know why i like to blog?
cos if you like, you can read it. if you don't, you can scram and get out of here
no one is forcing you to read
unlike in conversations, ppl might nt be interested abt what you have to say, but listening boredly out of politeness and you chatter on without knowing that you are actually torturing that bored person
but my posts are mostly for my own purporses. for me to read later on and rmb abt the certain events, or to just let out my emotions and rant on and on and nt making ppl bored cos as i've said, you can choose nt to read this (:
mum thinks i'm anorexic and have nt been eating
i don't know how she came up with such a weird hypothesis
i eat so ever much and is getting fatter everyday
she, who was once nagging me to lose weight, is now worried abt me losing weight
does that make sense?
i don't know why i'm so full of crap today
perhaps its cos during school days my blogging time is so limited ):
i am still slacking
