.Saturday, August 11, 2007 ' 11:45 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
today has been a long long longggggggggggg day
i shall talk abt it some other time
i am chao tired now
i still can't stop thinking abt it
what went wrong?
ok, everything always goes wrong for me
changes chiong in like duno what
in a split second
everything is different
and i really don't know how it happened
all i know is, i'm sorry
for approx the past 84 hrs you've been ignoring me except for pws where its necessary to communicate
i miss you so ever muchperhaps i am just that irksome
and maybe you don't even know in almost all my few posts since tuesday, i was talking to euu indirectly all along
i am really confused and miserable
and at the same time, hurt and bitter
i really don't understand
perhaps i always think i understand everything, but i really don't
i don't think i've understood you at all
its pretty saddening
frm that moment everything changed, things were never right again
perhaps i am the sole problem to all these troubles and unhappiness
i've always wondered what would people's reaction be when i die
sadly, i would never know
i just wanted to thank some people
in case someone suddenly decides to drop a bomb on singapore, or the building collapes, or my house catches fire, or someone just came and kiddnapped me, or some mass murderer is in the vicinity... well you get the idea. and my thoughts and feelings and blah wuld never be known.
thanks
joanne dearie for always being there for me, encouraging me to do well for my jap CAs and motivating me to study. and answering my every tedious questions during classes, never failing to help me when you could. and partnering me for role plays, and always giving me the easier part cos my jap is simply too sucky. and whispering me the answers everytime poon springs me a impromptu questions. thanks for being such a great jap sitting partner
thanks
kai sing and
weng chen for always being cheerful and smiley. thanks for motivating me and encouraging me and joking with me abt poon and all and make my life in 3rd lang much happier. thanks for sharing any sweets or whatever with me during lessons. thanks for being such a great jap friend
thanks
jane for always being there for me when i'm down. giving me countless hugs. encouraging me that my life is good, but sometimes empathizing with me at the right times. and listening to my grandmother old stories on my horrible life and all my injustice and whatever stupid stuff i like to rant on and on abt.
special thanks to
olivia too for being so huggable :]
thanks
qixuan for always being there for me, whether in band or out. thanks for accompanying me on mon/wed afternoons when i'm feeling lonely. thanks for empathizing with me during band when ms sia scolds us or is being plain unreasonable or when we are both so luan by all the stuff we have to blow impromptu and grimace at each other. thanks for being so understanding abt everything and thanks for going home with me and eating ice after band pracs :]
special thanks to
chiristine too for going home with me
thanks to
diana who is my instant cheer up-er and makes me go chao chao high and laugh-y and amused, esp on fridays. i can never sit beside you during band pracs, and even more impossibly, combined. haha i would start laughing my head off, even if i'm in front of ms sia. even when i come to band in a completely foul and grumpy mood you always manage to make me smile/laugh.
and thanks to
everyone for putting up with my mood swings and grumpiness and whatever.
its getting late, i'm frigging tired and i still gotta wake up early for church tmr
i shall continue some other day
