.Sunday, July 15, 2007 ' 3:50 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
taking a break frm theory work... its so driving me crazy. that old idiot piano teacher, despite my protest, made me buy this book. which is not only not approved by abrsm, it totally doesn't teach me anything but simply gives me loads of practices to do. which i find it so frigging irritating cos i keep having to refer to the theory guide my sis gave to me, and i don't see any point in doing so many stupid exercises cos to me its more impt to understand the concept and logic behind everything. in short, that book is just plain dumb
but sadly, i'm stuck with it. that is, until i complete it. but seing that there is so many stupid time consuming exercises, some even repeating the same questions 3-4 times, i don't know when will i ever finish that book, though i already understand everything in it.
this is so dumb.
and i am in a slacky mood today and feel like doing anything except my history coursework, bio and dnt research.
anyway, my fave hymn to date:
Lord i need you
Sometimes when life seems gentle and blessings flood my way,
I turn my gaze away from You and soon forget to pray.
But when the sky grows darker and courage turns to fear,
My anxious voice cries upward with words you long to hear.
Lord, I need You when the sea of life is calm.
O Lord, I need You when the wind is blowing strong.
Whether trials come or cease, keep me always on my knees.
Lord, I need You. Lord I need You.
Lord, help me to remember I'm weak but You are strong.
I cannot sing apart from You, for Lord You are my song.
Although I'm prone to wander and boast in all I do;
Lord keep my eyes turned upward so I depend on You.
haha. but don't worry i won't change my html to lord-i-need-you.blogspot.com -grins mischievously-
for a minute, i actually considered learning 怎么办 for the sake of feeling less left out. i was going thru e lyrics when i suddenly felt disguested of myself for being so stupid. why do i keep doing things against my will just to suit the needs of others and feel less left out? so what if i can learn 1 song? what about others. new popular songs will just keep on coming out. i don't have the time and energy to go learn all those stupid songs that i don't even like singing just for the sake of stupid things. my church and your's teaches really different things. i'm against the idol craze and popular songs and singers kind of things. maybe you are. we've got really different taste and style. i give up trying. nt becos i've got no determination. its cos i find what i've frequently did for the past 13 yrs of my life was so stupid. i like my english songs, romantic songs, songs with hidden msgs and meanings, murder ballads, oldies, hymns, blah. i've never made it clear that i hate whatever you're doing cos it will just offend ppl. but you know i do. and i'm nt going to try learn stuff that i don't like for anyone's sake anymore cos that it just plain dumb. so during lessons you all can sing whatever you want for all i care. and i can just stick to my murder ballads and oldies. cos we're just different ppl, with different likes and taste. so there
anyway...
i thought you had turned over a new leaf. i thought that you were truly sorry for what you did. i felt so upset for you when you were ostracised and condemned. cos i understood how you must have felt. you looked so helpless, someone who's did something wrong and condemned for the rest of their lives. just becos of 1 mistake, your status plundged. you've lost everything, you friends, the respect you used to get. but we gave you a chance. we accepted you as a good friend, as 1 of us. we trusted you, and believed you had truly changed.
but i guess we were all wrong
why must you continue your life like this? as the faker you're known to be. if you repent, and stop all this nonsense, ppl would slowly accept you when they feel your sincerity. but you don't. you continue faking, copyrighting other ppl's work, tell stupid tall tales and endless false stories. you've already lost all your good friends who were once very close to you. do you know, frm the start i actually admired you? you were pretty, popular and gd in your schwork and everything. but why did you have to do this? perhaps you don't realise this, but if you had never done this, you would still be respected, you would still be popular, you would still have you once best friend by your side. it was 1 mistake, but you're continuing on with it. again and again. ppl will just find it hard to trust you ever again. don't you understand?
will you just stop all this nonsense and faking and for once, lead a decent life?
its not too late to change.
but if you still insist on continuing with this huge mistake, sooner or later you'll really lose everything, the few friends you still possess and the little respect you still get.
i shall stop slacking and get back to my theory, and later my dnt and bio research, eng IN paper and history coursework.
