.Monday, July 09, 2007 ' 8:45 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
ok today was a pretty eventful day
mrs soh was damm funny during math okay.
we were arguing about arrows and = signs
and then she made ppl shake and bang markers again
and english's a little hillarious too
mrs kwan became e stamp and envelope selling person
we were doing this letter writing and sending activity
we had to write a fake 'southeast asian' name on foolscap and our real address
and we mix up e papers and take another person's one
and you're supposed to write a letter addressed to that name
i put my name as 'siddharta gautama'
my family's in for a nasty shock
depends who opens e letterbox first
i'm writing to 'krishna'
ho. i guess most of our names came frm e history tb
anyway, today's xi you ji was rather okay i would say
and zhang lao shi and all the rest of you who thinks i can act, you're all wrong
i was just being super drama cos i was nervous
i nearly died of embarrassment
and i kept saying my lines wrong and adding or improvising new lines
and vanessa made me wear a tie for lydia to flirt with, but in e end lydia forgot
so it looked so extra
and clarissa's grp did really well
it was damm funny
except perhaps they spoke a little soft and kept laughing
and anyway, zhang lao shi made us do this cme thingy about social relations this morning
i think i scored damm badly
it made me wonder
am i that irksome?
and ca4 was a disaster.
i misunderstood a component and studied e whole thing wrongly
i think i
am going to fail
again
and i guess i was pretty depressed thruout e day
over some stuff
especially e NE essay writing thing
I CAN'T STAND THE INJUSTICE
LOOK, WHOEVER E IDIOT WAS TOLD US TO WRITE THIS STUPID NE ESSAY WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SUBMITTED FOR AN NE COMPETITION. IT WAS ONY FOR JUSTICE AND LOYALTY. AND SO MANY PPL TOT IT WASN'T GRADED SO THEY WROTE TOTAL CRAP. I STAYED UP TILL 2AM JUST TO FINISH IT. I WROTE A PAINSTAKINGLY CHOSEN 1200 WORDS. I SPENT E NXT DAY DRIVING MYSELF MAD COLLECTING THOSE STUPID THIGNS COS SO MANY PPL COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO, AND THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO FILL OUT FORMS AND SUBMIT THEIR ESSAYS IN DISKETTES. AND I EITHER GOT CDS OR PRINTED COPIES. AND THEN PPL DUN FILL UP THEIR FORMS PROPERLY AND I HAD TO FILL IT OUT FOR THEM. I SPENT A WHOLE MORNING AND MY WHOLE RECESS GOING AFTER PPL. AND AFTER ALL THE HARD WORK I'VE DONE THEY TELL ME MY ESSAY'S NT GONNA BE SUBMITTED.
ISN'T IT PISSING
you will never understand how english and writing is so impt to me
i value my every written work alot
and you treat it like total rubbish nt worthy for your eyes
is this democracy?
and the worst fact is that, my precious number 11's essay is chosen to be submitted
you know i nearly cried when i heard of it
i've had a bad feeling that this would happen sooner or later
history always repeats
i'm going through the same thing over and over again
so what if there wouldn't be after effects
there's still the tormenting process
say i'm petty, i'm irritating. whatever
you would never understand
cos you've never been through it before
it always happens all round me
what is wrong with this world
its brings back the bad memories
you know i really didn't know what to fill up for the straits times best friend thingy
i was wondering, 6 mths ago claudia's name would had occupied that space
but its different now
i wonder if my name would appear anywhere in your mind anymore
i miss those times.
why did it turn out like that
why does it always turn out like that
i'm scared that i can't hold on any longer
the fact remains there.
you were the one who chose her. nt the other way round
remember back in term 2 someone asked us who our ideal sitting partner was?
was that a true answer?
i don't think so
or was it just a half hearted decission due to my presence?
i am so tired now
no one seems to understand
nt even the mother. or the sister
i guess my life's much more different
i don't like the way things are going
but i can't put a stop to it either.
i really don't know what i should do
everything's going wrong...
