.Tuesday, July 03, 2007 ' 11:10 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
i feel very, very tired
i totally cannot stand band pracs anymore
and i hate 3rd lang even more
i got lots of notes to copy
i haven't photocopied my book
and i'm so sick of nt doing my hw every lesson i have finally decided to do it today
and i am sick of some ppl whu slp at like, 9.30 - 10 everyday?
ppl call dem guai. i call dem dumb
send me e document at 9.30 with a note for me to send it to everyone else
never even sms or call me to tell me
do you know emails are meant to be read anytime
and the stupid file had an error
can't even open it
1st dun haf comman sense to send me earlier
2nd ask me send to other ppl last min
she think i what
crappy
and kmy tells me nt to murder her tmr cos she's been looking depressed for e past few days and we would just end up quarreling
I TOTALLY CAN'T STAND IT
SO WHAT IF SHE FEELS DEPRESSED
AS IF I DON'T
I CAN'T STAND IT
I'M SO SICK OF IT
i'm so tired
like why do everyone treat me as the bad guy whu goes around hollering at people
have they ever once tried to look from my point of view
its my fault. its always my fault
its okay. i've got so much practice of this i'm used to it
i duno why i ever got into a class that said JUSTICE
this is crappy
sometimes i wonder, how stupid can i get
i can just be a idler like some ppl. they don't do any work for projects, they still get marks
no one wants to group with them, but they still end up in some group
although no one likes them
i thought those ppl were irresponsible dummies.
but now i think i'm the dumb one.
so what if we work so hard for the benefit of our group? we still get equal marks
and just to get things done, ppl still end up hating me
i'm just doing this becos i do value responsibility
but is this impt to others
they only know how to look at what i haven't done, rather than what i've done
they don't care how much i contribute, as long as they get high grades
why must things turn out this way
i do try. i try my very best to try make things turn out right.
but i always end up being the bad guy. the person everyone hates.
i should just learn to shut up and watch disaster befall
then they'll start blaming be again
why does it always have to be this way
i know sometimes its my fault my sleeping hrs are so irregular
i try nt to be. i do try. really
when i know ppl's going to be sending stuff to me i do wait till it comes then i sleep
but did you haf to stub me and be so sarcastic like that
you're giving me the impresison that our friendship is worthless to you
it was my special day
culdn't you just do smth nice for me?
i rmb how i went all out for claudia
does this mean anything to you at all?
you still don't understand. and i dun think you ever will
i felt so scared today
when i didn't have my windmill
when i blew my instru until i had stomach cramps
it was damm scary.
suddenly my stomach was seizing up like duno what
i don't like this
and i even get scared when i'm seeing them.
it just doesn't seem right
its just another one of the facts of life
ppl just plain hate me
i know they do.
i feel scared every single day of my life
what's worth living for anymore?
i'm so tired
i haven't even done my 500 word chinese newspaper reflection
or my nucleus research
but i am so tired i shall just do my jap hw and go and sleep
the tears can run no more....
