.Friday, July 06, 2007 ' 9:50 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
i feel rotten and disguested with myself
today was one of the most miserable days of my life
i always say things i shouldn't say... and i guess this is one of the frequent times
me and the sister fell asleap last night at around 12+, lights on and all
and i woke up at 4, realising that my nucleus reviews wern't done
so i rushed it
today started of nervously
i was very nervous
becos of something that you wun really understand
and then during recess i found out that that worry was needless
but still i had another worry.
so then as usual i slept thru bio. and then there was drama which i totally love now. its like so relaxing, all we do is draw and talk and do funny things. some examples are:
- 'sculpturing' people. kmy made me look like a happy idiot while i made her look like she was advertising for pencil cases
- draw stuff and then talk about it
- play funny games
- make a tabloid or smth lidat. its like, he made jane lie on e floor dead, made daphne kneel down pretending to beg for mercy, wei lu pointing a gun at her, wanqi moaning over jane's death, kimberly looking shocked, lih maan comforting her and looking at jane.
we haf to create our own tabloid nxt wk. our topic is "*****" (its a secret so ppl can guess. HA)
and oh chinese was free so we dicussed e dikir baraht thingy. and then we practiced for xi you ji. i got damm agitated lah. i was screaming and i almost cried. cos i felt so miserable. this really reminds me of poetry slam. the embarrassing memories came swarming back. i felt so pissed and rotten.
"sometimes things don't always work out the way you want them to" -vanessa koh
you're wrong
the
never work out the way i want them to
so then there was drills.
we did it in our pe attire. no pinafore
they think its nice but i hate it
i just dun like the feeling of walking around in my pe shorts
the timings had gone back to the usual volume
though as usual, i was near grace ho and she was hollering like crazy
we did the 90 degrees marching on e spot thingy for so long.
and the squad did it so fast
i almost died of exhaustation
then section prac. regina was being very nice today.
the moment we went into e band rm we were so exhausted frm drills dat we (sec 1s) collasped onto the stairs and sat there stoning. or at least, i did
r: are you very tired?
j : (shrugs)
r: is drills very tiring?
j : (shrugs)
r: very tiring right??
j: ehh... ya lah.... (nods sheepishly)
r: (talks to me about how she did this when she was in sec 1 and how we were tired cos we marched to fast and very long)
j: ehh... oh...
ok, i was quite despondent
and she taught us how to 'open our throat' and blow high notes and tune our instru
and then there was the pumping session
which was what made me so miserable
i feel really really rotten
i dun really know how to phrase whatever i want to say
"you can go back and blog about all this. i don't care"
i can't help myself. i do have to trash it all out or i'll die of internal injuries.
ok, firstly i dun blame the sec 3s whu pumped us becos i know and admit its like, my fault. which is kinda why i'm feeling really rotten.
though some things are kinda unreasonable
i am quite pissed becos it always seems that the sec 1s are at fault.
we got scolded that we block up the band rm so that the seniors couldn't enter.
i did 60 pumps and 2mins of on e spot marching. 90 degrees and all.
20 was for everyone for sloppy drills. 20 for going to e canteen during band hrs. 20 for trombones becos we left a book outside e band rm. 2mins march for using hp during band.
i feel less rotten about e trombone and drills pumps cos i didn't know anything about e left behind book, i use hp during band for gd reasons, and well i think i already did my best for drills liao.
but i am so disguested with mysef over e canteen thingy.
why am i so plain slack?
i think i am getting slackier every second.
i sleep in class, pon 3rd lang, slack during band, dun do hw
what else can i do?
i am feeling very very horrible
i think that my whole section and all my seniors are plain disguested and disappointed with me. esp esther and regina.
i feel so, so rotten.
no words can explain how rotten i feel.
poor weiyun had to pump a total of 140.
just becos of her post.
we were like, whispering: "go weiyun...."
and all the ppl with posts, even worse, those with top 4 posts, had a terrible time.
but jingwen, e nice sec 4s bought us ice.
ok so then after all the pumps and march we had a super huge scolding.
esp for e sec 1s
i don't want to relate what they said
it makes me feel even more rotten than i already feel.
but there was a definate note of disappointment
it was quite sad, actually
i feel so rotten.
and oh, simin is so sweet okay. she sent us smses =]
"Hello dearest sec ones! It's good to see all of you during drills today, i'm glad that all of you were putting in effort just now! :) hmm, drills and combined now is seriously no more honeymoon yeah? i just hope that all all of you will persevere on and work hard together and bond as a squad! i have faith in you!
aww... that was so sweet
i felt like throwing my arms round her telling her how much i missed her
and then there was another incident which i also dowan to relate.
it made me feel even more miserable
i took e bus to amk int and saw jane waiting for 86, which was what i was going to take =]
so we took e bus together until it reached her hse, then i slept.
and i reached home at like, 8.25pm today?
i was so lethargic i was dragging myself along all the while when i was walking.
i am feeling damm tired.
i shall go to sleep
i feel rotten
