.Thursday, July 19, 2007 ' 8:40 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
i feel quite rotten and tired today
it all started off in the morning during morning jog
i was jogging when i saw weiping strolling thru e gates with that stupid windmill, obviously very late.
if i was late i wouldn't be walking in, i'll be crashing in
and i officially declare this person frm 1 unity hates me to the core
i just know it
and then smth happened at the end of e jog
which was maybe a small matter to you
but perhaps if you were me you would have taken this more seriously than i did
so cme was abt racial discrimation
i dun really like zhang lao shi's cme lessons
she doesn't know how to teach properly
but just talks abt all the 人生大道理
malay was terrible
art was very slack
math was boring
recess was rushing around promoting 1 justice cos we were in our class tee for dikir baraht, and getting food, then rushing back to class to rehearse 1 last time.
we added things last min so i guess it didn't run as smoothly as it could.
then there was bio where mrs tan started talking abt worms again
i stapled and scotchtaped the 2 pgs showing worms together and wrote warning signs. =X
and she reduced kmy to tears cos she was so angry that mrs tan was treating her like shit over e sci files. now she knows how i feel with mrs kwan
then we moved to the ava rm to see a video
then there was dikir baraht which was nt very smooth sailing
the front row ppl duno disappear where liao so i was standing at e front
and e drummers went to e side and we couldn't really hear e effect
and the singers didn't hold mikes
but i guess we all really did our best
at least, some of us did
1 truth won, which was nt surprising cos their performance was really superb and really alike e real dikir baraht and all
but i was surprised 1 grace could win second cos it wasn't really like and they were singing kinda unrelavent songs
lunch was spent having a stomach ache and feeling nauseous frm thinking abt sia
i threw away half of my ham and cheese toast
but in e end sia didn't come -.-"
we had sectionals in e forum
so e sec 1s were sitting a row below e rest of them
so they had to shout alot
and i felt really sleepy and tired
so whenever we were given few mins break i would immediately nod off to sleep
and when e main band went off to prac spartans, anthem and sch song, we totally slacked half e time off
which is quite sad
so i'm finally home now
sch is kinda untolerable now
i'm feeling very tired becos of it
but i'm feeling rotten becos of another thing
this thing i read made me tear
i think i am like getting closer to Lydia now.. (but maybe drifting further away from some others). Perhaps sitting with someone allows you to take another step into ur friendship. like how sherbelle and i used to not really talk to become like..friends :]] but now i find that sometimes i can tel Lydia stuff that i don't really tell people. And she tells me stuff that she doesn't want me to tell people. so i guess..that's where the connection is...i feel horrible. i'm such a total failure in this aspect of my life.
but perhaps it is the plain, terrible truth
things are forever changing
i think abt all the wonderful ppl frm rvps who i will never forget, but have already officially left my life. the ppl who had always by my side, when i'm feeling down, or unhappy, they were always there. they've never abandoned me when i needed help. they've always been there for me.
michelle. you were always my best confidant, my comforter. you've never made me feel bad abt what i think. you understand my problems. i could always talk to you abt all my 心事, and you've always made me feel better.
karen. you're always bringing fun and laughter to my life. you're always my best partner in junk food eating and peach tea indulging. you're always my best chatting-abt-maple partner. you would always give me advice on gaming and stuff. you bring me joy.
felix, elton, zhengqian. you guys were always stupid. your stupid lame jokes and nonsensical rubbish. but it does make me laugh. sometimes having a little rubbish is a gd thing. you ppl do make my blood boil sometimes but i do appreciate the laughter and nonsense you give me.
zhengjia, jiahan, alicia, and all you other amazing ppl i know, i really miss you loads. you were always there for me, to accompany me, to help me, and just for pure enjoyment.
claudia. i've got so much to say to you. i still see you everyday in st. nicks, but you're nt the you i've known since pri 4. we've gone thru so much, though its only a mere 3 yrs. all that problems and competition against each other, our friendship grew stronger. but why did it have to turn out like this? perhaps we were never meant to be together. even when in e same sch our friendship couldn't sustain. i really miss you. the old claudiie-diie i used to know. all those times spent planning suicides and chalet parties and movies or shopping trip. the studying together, the crying together. the beading lessons we had together. i will never forget them. i really really miss you , but do you?
i really miss all you wonderful ppl out there
and i can't accept it as a fact you've all left my life for good
perhaps it takes time for the truth to sink in
through all the tears during the chalet party we had
i still can't accept this horrible truth
perhaps i could say even more than this. except i am far too tired to type grandmother old stories.
i can't stop the tears
i am simply too sick of all these things repeating
1 more day to go
i don't know how long more can i hold on...
the tears will dry
but the scars would remain
