.Sunday, June 17, 2007 ' 2:20 AM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
oh gawd. i'm finally done till chapter 6. but i keep forgetting e vocab, how to read and write and all. AHHH. its driving me crazy. and studying for CA4 really drives me crazy. it's going to be so much more cheem then all e other CA papers i took. i've gotta learn so many different versions of things. i gotta know when to use what particle. i gotta know how to use past tense and future tense and present tense. i gotta know how to change e tenses and there's different ways for different verbs. i gotta learn adjetives, and different kinds of adjetives go with different connectors. i gotta learn e calander and timings and all. i gotta learn to change verbs to dictionary form. i gotta learn SO MANY THINGS THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND AND IS SO DIFFICULT TO.
i am going insane soon.
i think i shall just put jap aside for awhile and get started on my homework. i might just rip that stupid english-forbidden-jap-filled un-understandable textbook subconsiously.
I AM GOING CRAZY.
i shall just memorize my vocab as its written, and work on e rest at moelc when sch reopens.
i think i do need that resourceful library at moelc where decent english-filled books explaining jap stuff are kept.
i think my jap textbook is just plain stupid cos it explains jap in jap so if euu dun know jap how are euu suppose to read jap to learn jap cos euu can't even read it in e 1st place ??
and i'm starting to feel quite stressed about my undone homework, now that its only 7 more days to sch reopen-ing. in fact, i feel like cooping myself in e hse and pon-ing band, nt going for e pulau ubin trip, skipping church and nt going to my grandmother's birthday party to chiong all those idiot assignments. but obviously i'm nt going to cos its so sinful :[[
i think it has became part of my holiday routine. slack 95% and chiong 5%. but this is already an improvement, that i didn't do everything right on the
very last day of e hols, which is what i usually do. i duno what's wrong with my, but yes, i admit i have very horrible time management. i just don't seem to be motivated to do my work until e very last min. and now with jap and everything else... put it in a simplier way, i'm just feeling stressed.
i shall work doubly hard frm today onwards :]]
i am feeling quite.... scared.
i guess.
there's this feeling which often comes into me when i 'rmb' that i've got so many problems, most of which cannot be solved, or is really hard to solve. i'll feel really scared to face my problems and everything. i'll just feel like running far far away where there's no such thing as jap and homework and school and assignments and most impt, problems. sometimes i think that mentally challenged people are the most carefree, untroubled people cos they don't have to care about anything. everything in their world is so simple, becos they don't
want anything, just having living necessities makes them happy.
the world is so complicated becos of our
wantswe keep wanting a better life, to be prosperous, to make a name for ourselves. but if we slog half our life away becos of our wants, wouldn't it be happier if we were to live a simplier life?
no wonder God said nt to covet
it just makes you more miserable
why are people so funny
actually so carefree
then becos we greedy
go and study study study
all becos of money
until so unahppy
