.Monday, May 14, 2007 ' 11:25 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
my grandfather passed away today at 3pm.
although it was expected, it was still shocking.
sadly, no one called me until my mum told me when she called to tell me to eat dinner out.
i think i'm hardly of significance to anyone, anywhere.
i'm skipping sch tmr and friday.
i thought this week was already going to be bad. its worse now.
even if i'm saying all this in a calm manner, emotions are overwhelming inside.
i do miss him alot.
even if i don't sound like i do.
it takes time for the reality to sink in.
when euu've realised that euu miss him, his significance.
i rmb him as dat strong man who used to carry his unbrella out and come back with it hanging on his shoulder with loads of groceries behind it.
who would rush downstairs with me whenever the ice cream truck rang.
who cared so much for his grandchildren that he tried to stop me from climbing the metal spiral at the playground and getting a bloody jaw in the process.
who would greet us with his usual 'jiak ba buai?' everytime we went to visit him.
that was prob the only hokien phrase that i've rmb so well.
who came up with a silly abc song in hokien which when translated, meant, 'abc, salted vegetables spreaded on bread, no more bread, joan eats shit'
ok, doesn't sound very good in english.
he use to sing his self invented rhyme to me when i was much younger. then laugh at his own cleverness.
and many many many other things.
i do miss him. alot.
i really do miss him.
i'll be attending his funeral on tues and fri, which means i haf to skip sch
and i'm not too pleased abt it
i already haf so many deadlines to meet and everything. and on wed there's dnt and e.lit due. and tmr we're supposed to hand in eng pw, which is with me.
and i haf a history test, ting xie and band camp on friday.
means i gotta skip de earlier part of band camp. i duno abt de many tests.
and i gotta finish my history portfolio by thurs so dat i can pass it to someone to hlp me hand it in.
and i'll miss soooo much for math, sci, geog and history. math is going like a bullet train. fri will be de last chem lab lesson. geog and hist are 1 of my weakest subs cos there's only 2 periods of it per wk.
and i hope ms gwee wun make me replace my art lesson on wed.
i think i shall be bad and pon 3rd lang on wed. i'm really tooo busy
my life's already miserable enuf. and little things keep making it worse.
i shall wake up early tmr to do my dnt and e.lit
then pon 3rd lang on wed to do history portfolio
then pray hard that smth can be done abt my math, geog, hist, sci, chinese and band camp.
i think i will be dead by the end of this wk.
and i really hope i'll die by tmr.
i'm serious.
i'm seriously sick of my life
and i'm really tired. i really really am.
