.Thursday, May 31, 2007 ' 2:30 PM Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
I'M FINALLY BACK!!! *GASPS* *PLONK* *CONKED OUT*
15hrs of hibernation.....
rvps camp was like, super tiring for e campers, and even more tiring for e facilitators.
but before i go ranting on abt camp, i shall post some other stuff cos i'm to lazy to elaborate on my 3 day recount of e rvps camp and upload e pics now.
shall do that tmr cos i'm still in a drowsy and slack mood.
i've been having weird mood swings.
and so haf my mum.
i think she's going thru e menopausal and aging stage while im going thru e growing up stage.
i'm begining to hate her and my eldest sis more and more.
i realli dun understand myself sometimes.
and i nv seem to understand her.
why does she love my eldest sis so much, that she's willing to cover up for her wrongdoings, selfishness and all e bad things she does and puts e blame on me instead? i dun understand.
perhaps to them, i will always be e useless fat pig they haf always pictured me to be.
after a long day, or rather, 3 long, tiring and exhausting days out, all i want is to go home.
a home is where you get protection frm e scary world outside.
a home is where nth can hurt you, both physically and emotionally.
a home is where your family brings comfort and warmth to your heart.
a home is where you feel happy and contented.
a home is made up of warmth, love, comfort, care, concern.
a house is part of a building.
a house is has bedrooms, a kitchen, a living rm and a yard.
a house is where euu sleep in.
a house has beds, televisions, chairs, tables etc.
a house is made up of bricks and cement
and i'm sad to say that i haf concluded that i don't haf a
home. i only haf a
house.
i really wish for a normal family.
where the father works 9-5 on weekdays.
the mother does the housework
the children studies and do homework
the sisters communicate and get along happily
the parents understand and love all children equally
and the father brings the family out on sundays
what so difficult about that?
or is it really nt as simple as we think it is?
it took me a long time to realise this
but the truth has finally sunk in
i'm officially thirteen.
i'm really scared. i'm scared of all the tests, exams, textbooks, notes, constant studying
i'm scared of jap, of failing, of deadlines, of stress. i'm scared of the little time we have.
i'm scared to face the future. i'm scared of myself. i'm scared of my life.
i'm really, really scared.
has life became that complex and complicated that we actually haf to be scared of it?
i chose this path, and i follow it all the way.
yes, it was my choice, but it wasn't an option.
it made me wonder...
would my life be simpler if i was born stupid?
